Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Mouser2
Excellent explanation!

A few concrete examples to play out...

1. a co-worker has a job interview scheduled. He/she comes to me and says "hey deb, I have an interview today, wish me luck." I'd think to myself... "luck? What is that going to do for them... me wishing them luck?"

I would say to them, "have you studied the companies rules, policies? Have you visited their web site to see what their vision/mission/strategic goals are so you can familiarize yourself their stance and focus? etc. Are you prepared to answer what your strengths, weaknesses are? Are you prepared to discuss your skills and why you think would bring value to that company and why they should hire you? Are you prepared to write an example letter to demonstrate your writing and comprehension skills? Is any of this luck? I think not.

2. How about this one... "Hey, deb, I have my chemistry exam today, wish me luck..." Luck???

I'd say to them have you studied? How familiar are you with the material? Can I help you go over a few questions?" Luck? I think not.

3. How about this one... "hey deb, I decided I wouldn't shoot any dope today, wish me luck." I'd think, luck? What?

I'd ask, "tell me, what are you planning to do to ensure you don't... are you going to surround yourself with non-dopers? are you going to stay busy with constructive things? Hey, why don't we go see a movie, or grab a cup of coffee." I definately would not say, "oh, sure... hey, good luck with that."

In closing... Luck? Am I lucky to be on this site with such caring people? No. Not in the context of the words definition in terms of 'chance.' But yes, in the terms of 'fortunate.'

Though the word fortune is found in the definition of the word luck, it's context is that of fortunate.

I am fortunate to be on this site with such caring people (I am not lucky to be here).

yes, I see and hear the words "good luck" a lot on this site and in every day life. I use to believe in those two words, but they got me in trouble with more gambling. We are wired into those two words. I have been working on getting them out of my communications and it is still hard to do. It is like, a man standing infront of a group of women saying, "OK you guys". Give me a break.

I'm gonna bop this discussion back up to the top.....it got some great responses first time around.......

Eastwester, this discussion did get some good responses the first time around, thanks for bumping it to the top.

When I was gambling, I perceived "luck" as a reality, good or bad. Sometimes I'd switch machines, believing I'd have better "luck" at a different machine. I perceived "luck" as a reality, even believing I could change my luck with a more positive attitude, as if luck was part of my fantasy system. I don't remember ever feeling like any day, or any moment, for that matter, was an unlucky one, but I perceived "luck" as a reality, good or bad.

In the beginning of my recovery, I got all hung up on words, or phrases, like "Good Luck", or, "I'll bet ya....", or, even, "I wish...". Today I'm not so hung up on words, however, that might have something to do with the fact I'm actually thinking about what I say before I say it, not always, I find myself slipping once in a while, and rephrasing what I just said. I'm not as worried about what other people say, or do, as I use to be. I'm focusing on me, and what comes flying out of my own mouth. I believe it's part of my recovery.

When I was actively gambling, "wishing" was a way of life for me. In my fantasy world wishes did come true, depending on how hard I wished, and how much I "believed" my wishes could come true. Even if I was working towards a goal, having nothing to do with gambling, I still perceived "wishing" as a reality. Needless to say, I was all messed up.

Today prayer is a reality to me. Hope is a reality to me. Both are based on faith. I can remember back feeling anger when anyone would tell me they were praying for me, because I didn't perceive prayer as a reality, and back then, hope was a wish.

We communicate with words that have multiple meanings and interpretations, depending on how they are perceived, in many cases. I can't count how many times I prayed as I sat there gambling, despite the fact I didn't believe in prayer, feeling ashamed of myself for grasping at anything to make my "wish" come true. My fantasy world was corrupted by my own perceptions.

Today I believe there is a place in my heart for fantasy, and I don't perceive my fantasy world as corrupted any longer. It's taken me a long time to realize even fantasy has a place in our life's, along with faith, hope and trust.

I think I will put in my two cents worth. "Luck" is not reality, but fantasy. An illusion of the mind to believe that one can achieve success by chance. It is much too easy to believe that "Luck" will make you well off in life and not hard work and determination.
I suppose in today's day and age with all the media projecting the image of glamour and riches being achieved quickly and easily, it is not hard to fall into their trap. So.......it comes down to, not being "Lucky", but, pulling up your britches and getting back to work.

this was a popular topic last time around......any new thoughts?