Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

I dont know how to answer that but Im sure you will get a lot of good advice on this site. Its helpful to see the other side. Ive been married for 2 years. Lately been to the casino more than I should and worse yet blowing a lot of money. I really will get a divorce if I cant stop. Been gambling for about 5 years off and on. Fortunately I have a good job. I have come close to hitting rock bottom. I find it hard to think of this as an addiction/disease. But I really cant seem to stop. And Ive hurt the people Ive love the most. My husband is very laid back and he knows when I go but doesnt say anything. I hate myself for gambling, no one could make me feel worse than I do. I keep planning on going to a GA meeting but then thinking how stupid this is. I should be able to just not go. Im an adult. From where I am at now I would tell you to take total control of all money or be prepared to loose it. There are a lot of others on this site that have succeeded in stopping. I feel like a total looser and Im going to destroy my husband in the process. If I continue I will divorce him. This is sad and sick. Good luck

Leave him already.

Eveytime I read here it is about you saying what you are doing to try and control his gambling.

NEWS FLASH....he will find a way to gamble if he wants to, you playing the "private eye" won't stop him.

so take a break from all the chaos

" In every circumstance I encounter in life, where a decision on my part is required, I have two choices........and two choices only.
Change.....or acceptance.
Just like we pray for in the serenity prayer, I ask God for one of two things.......for either the serenity to accept or for the courage to change...... those circumstances and situations which are troubling me.
I may choose to delay, to pretend it's not so important, to seek excuses, to hide from the truth, to try to "think" myself through it, to disguise the issue in a dozen different ways........but until I take some action to improve my situation it will most likely remain the same in the way it affects me. Change and acceptance.....both are action words......they require an effort on my part. Either I accept things as they are or I make some changes.........Two choices, I was taught. Two choices only.
In the third line of the serenity prayer we pray for wisdom.......Wisdom, as I understand it, can be described as "knowledge gained through experience"........And if I were seeking "wisdom" on the subject of compulsive gambling, I'd probably ask the people who have that "knowledge gained through experience". I'd ask some recovering compulsive gamblers. "

My friend, you've been coming here for nine months, telling virtually the same story. Nothing seems to be improving. You've been taking steps, making an effort, but it doesn't appear to be having any effect. If what we're doing doesn't seem to be working, it stands to reason that we're going to need to do something else, something more, something different....... otherwise, we find ourselves in the posistion of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result; the definition of insanity.
Once again, I'm going to suggest that you try Gamanon or Alanon....... The people there know far far more about coping with an active gambler than any "therapist" ever will. These people possess that "knowledge gained through experience". They know. They understand. They've been there.
"would think I'm over-reacting"-------Why would you be concerned about what "he" thinks? He certainly isn't concerned about you or what you think. I'd lock up every cent I possibly could. Somehow, you gotta get the message through to this guy that "I'm sick and tired of this and I"M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!"
"I don't go that often"......That is called "minimizing" It's common. We've heard that same old lame excuse a thousand times.
"I often have pray not to feel angry and disrespected"...... What is that all about? You don't have the right to your own feelings? Says who? Your feelings are yours, they are God-given, never wrong, and you have the right to each and every one of them. No one, ever, has any right to tell you how to feel or not to feel.
"Do I dare tell him".....Perhaps, if you need to be afraid to express your feelings to him......this relationship isn't a very healthy place for you to be.
"I know he needs to hit bottom".......Correct. The question is whether or not you want to go along for the fall.

Once again, I'm going to tell you........Compulsive Gambling is progressive in it's nature. This word "progressive" means that, untreated, it gets worse, never better.
There's a big elephant in your room, and it's not simply going to go away. Actually, the elephant is grazing, growing, getting bigger and stronger. The elephant is also getting smarter, learning new tricks, new excuses and strategies to continue to graze. For now, the elephant will just push aside any inconveniences to it's desires. But, eventually, in order to get fed, the elephant will stomp on anything and anyone that gets in the way.

You are caught in a terrible place, a victim of a disease over which you have no control. I understand. I know something of your pain.
It remains up to you. Change it or accept it. Only you can decide.

HI Canterville..
The DAy will come when 'all the doubt will get tossed out.
The Day you stop Denying what this addiction is doing to you.. What this addiction is doing to hubby..
Is the Day ''change will take place for YOU.
That will be the DAy ''the Lies Stop.
The ones you tell yourself (Your-Denial) and the ones 'your cg tells YOU. (His-Denial).
Until then 'both of you are Circling this 'addiction. .He circles the BET 'you circle HIM. Both depending on an OUTCOME FOR HAPPINESS. (That is the 'LIE'. )
And yes there are options. and making a decision is hard.
MY thinking on this :
You want your hubby to step up to the plate and 'be honest and stop gambling.
But you are unwilling to do the same, step up to the plate and get free of your addiction to him.
Gamanon. Alanon.. Can help along with therapist I believe.
Be WEll Sandra.

There is no spiritual value for me to be a victim. In fact, it hampers my spiritual growth. It allows me to put blame and responsibility for my defects and wrongs on to others or situations. If I want to stay in recovery, I need to focus on my own mistakes and not the mistakes of others. Recovery is about moving from victim to survivor.

note;------- I didn't author this, it's something I noticed on another site that I thought might be relative to this discussion