What is Gambling Addiction
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as f...
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Scary request, and strange response to my anxiety
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CG H asked me to meet him for dinner and to watch friend's band play tonight. Sounds great...guess what the venue was? The lounge at the casino!!!!
I decided to confront H in an e-mail. Said I was willing to go and support his friend, but I was not happy about having to go to the casino. I wanted to be clear about sticking to OUR commitment to not gamble. Not even a guick lark in a slot machine. That we go there to hear music....perhaps grab dinner...then leave. I explained that it was important to me to stick to our agreement about not gambling, and not use the excuse of being there for "other reasons" to let our guard down. That gambling had caused us a lot of heartache, and I hope he would understand why I feel this way. He e-mailed back, said not to worry, we could meet at the golf club and have dinner there. He even mentioned that I should bring my son too. He said he agreed that the gambling caused us heartache, but not as much as I perceived. He felt he'd been through greater devastation through other trials in his life. I suppose that is true....but that comment sort of belittles how seriously his gambling has hurt me, doesn't it? And isn't it odd....that when I draw my line in the sand and say..."I will go, but I want to be clear that I don't want us to gamble." Now suddenly...he doesn't feel like going? Maybe it was an excuse to go gambling after all? I have a son with panic/anxiety disorder who is dealing with all sorts of emotional issues right now....my husband appears to be a compulsive gambler who hasn't stopped and refuses any kind of recovery other than toughing it out alone......I have trust issues as a result....I also have closeness issues in my marriage as H seems to have priorities that are not in sync with mine.....oh, and I haven't gotten my contract for my teaching job yet (one that should have been in place months ago.) So...I know I am a neurotic, worried mess. When I try to chill out and not dwell on it so much, it eventually percolates back to the surface. I know I probably need therapy. Ugh...just needed to vent about this. Feeling stressed out. Cantervilleghost Posted on 06/29/09, 12:06 pm |
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Hi Canterville... You're okay. Of course you have trust issues with your husband, he's a compulsive gambler who hasn't got to the point where he's ready to seek help. That's not something you have control over, at least I don't think so. Don't call yourself neurotic, it might stick... you're okay, please know that. It's okay to vent, here, or anyplace else. what is venting? Getting to the core of what's on your mind, I suppose. Nothing I say is absolute, even I know that. You're making yourself crazy trying to get inside your husbands head, you can't, it's not even something you need to bother yourself with. Focus on you. I know how difficult that is to do, that's where my addiction has led me, to focus on me, knowing I can't change anyone else, much to my life time of dismay. I can only change me. Period. That realization shouldn't make me angry...why did it take me so long to realize? Maybe I sound a little crazy right now...I'm not. I'm okay, too. We're okay, if we want to be. BIG OKAY HUGS 
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Canterville......am chuckling here.. as 'I 'caught the same ''con you did''..
(He agreed that the 'gambling caused us heataches but not 'as much as I preceived.) 'You felt belittled ,, yes.?. DID YOU FEEL 'BLOWN OFF'??or 'even 'that maybe '''YOU made too much of it''.???. interesting.. But hey ,, am a cg.''I know the game of 'not ''taking responsibility.. for my behaivours..slush em off. 'Feel 'a little Crazy ..??. guilty.... manipulations.. work.. iffen he backed down. and changed mind..Good. Your Contract for 'teaching job is not helping your personal self esteem '(security).. It will come.. Like I say am a cg ,, and conning was my game.. Confrontation 'stopped me.. Be Well....relax..with self.. Your doing well, even though maybe 'feel a little crazy at times.. lol... Sandra gams5
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