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Wednesday May 22, 2013
Frustrating Stories
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Everything i write seems to be bad well... story of my life isnt it
Monday, December 13, 2010 |
by: Campbell ...
Talking to some online friends tonight and then randomly their friends are there and i just get ignored just feels like it, they go on voice don't really ever talk to me on voice and then when someone asks where such and such has went they know but i don't because i'm not the one on private voice with them.
They are apoligetic but it happens all the time its just so frustrating, next year i decid...
AdvertisementI went to my bed at around 9pm yesterday trying to reset my body clock to be in the "normal" people sleeping pattern.
Yesterday after my comment i wasn't too bad until i was talking to a friend and noticed a change in them i basically said i want to take some risks knowing that i want to have done alot before i die, they said paul the way you talk is depressing and you actually sound like you wan...
What is wrong with me.... ive been fine nearly 2 days and then it retuns
Friday, December 17, 2010 |
by: Campbell ...
Relisation of life.....
I know there's nothing i can do to change things and although my friend is amazing for clearing up my mind and helping me out, she made some great points like we are the energy of the earth and that we all help renewing that energy.
I made the point of when your knocked out its lights out no dreams or anything the next thing that happens is you wake up and its like nothing...
Well today was a day that started off good but ened very badly. Today I was suppose too be taking care of some business and I swore that I wounldnt go too the casino. Well I left my house at 700 this morning going straight too the casino. Things werent looking so good I was losing my money. I put my last twenty in and was hoping That I wouldnt lise it. i got too 5.00 and Hit for a very big bonus....
well today I am pawning my tv too put food in the house.
If I wouldnt have been so stupid yesterday winnig 1200 dolars and leaving the casino.I wouldnt have too dissapoint my kids again. Hell I already have too laptops and a 360 xbox in there. Which leaves them having nothing too do. I cant ask anyone for money because I dont want people too know my struggle with gambling and look d...
i really hate asking people gor help. I remember being a time when people always came too me for something. Last night I asked a friend for help too go too the pawn shop too get money too put food in the house. He knows that I gotta do it before the kids get up or I have too here their mouths. So I texted him letting him know that I was up getting in the shower so that I could be ready before he ...
Well... as many on here do, I suffered another relapse. Hard to admit... so very hard to admit. I still want to "prove" I am not an addict by doing a little gambling now and again, or maybe thats one story I tell myself. I also WANT to gamble, its a fact. I might never stop wanting to, so what do I do? The choice I suppose is mine, but the choices I make are not always the best, rational choices,...
I woke up in a pretty good mood, got the kids up and then cooked breakfast, then watched tv with my man, then it was getting late so I was getting ready, showered, dried off, and then my ritual is put my lotion on and spray perfume. I put a spray on my wrist, inside of my elbows, on both side of my neck, my chest, my upper thighs, behind each knee, and my ankles. Alot, well I work with men ...
Sometimes I get a little frustrated that I have to plan everything out, and I can't just go places like normal people. I also have to have a plan what to do if I go someplace that has a casino near it. I understand why I have to do it, but it just gets very old sometimes. I keep focusing on the fact that I am making huge progress regarding my recovery, but there are still times ...





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