What is Foster-Care
Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in "parent(s)" cares for minor children or young peoples who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adult...
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Please help- child taken at 3 days old
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I am new to daily strength but have been in therapy for about 6 months. My son, my joy, was taking from me when he was 3 days old. I was in a bad relationship and ended up on a psychiatric unit and while I was there he was born. My ex-fiance wouldn't pick him up thinking it wasn't his and he went into care under jurisdiction of ACS. They wouldn't let me see him until I got out of the hospital 5 months later when I found a residence to live in for mentally ill patients. I am a registered nurse and have cared for people for 10 years but I am not even allowed to care for my own son. I have been visiting him once a week for over a year and he senses I am his mother and is growing fond of me but it is very hard to live with AND without him by my side. I yearn for him.
The foster family is very attached to him and I pray they don't adopt him but the agency he is with, OHEL, is notorious for keeping babies with their foster families. I make a good income now and have a good home and am on all my medications, but ACS is reluctant to give him back to me so quickly. The longer it takes, the more hesitation I have to take him back. He is already 15 1/2 months and obviously attached to an entirely different home. What to do? His father and I are off again on again, but I have another steady boyfriend so it is complicated. I am a mess lately. I was okay for a while until I tried to get another job and back with my boyfriend and I feel my life is upside down again. Does he belong with me? Sometimes I feel he needs me but lately, I feel that my bipolar disorder is acting up again. I live such a sad life sometimes as I lost my true great love in 2004 to an accident. After that, nothing seemed to matter. Even my son gets second love sometimes. If anyone has had children taken away by ACS, especially when they're infants, please let me know and please give me some advice. I could use some words of encouragement. Posted on 05/26/09, 07:05 pm |
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I have a somewhat similiar experience as you!!My daughter too was taken away at age 3 1/2 shes now almost 6-due to my bipolar!!My rights were terminated two weeks ago!! I am going to apeal it-I have NOT stopped fighting for her! Dont give up the fight,stay on your meds,take care of yourself first!! There is a birthmothers support group & a moms loss by adoption site on here!! I know your not there,but just a thought if you need more support.Talk to me anytime-take care-Melissa 
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I guess everyone wishes you could have the best of both worlds like lifetime movies. I don't know how things will go, but keep taking care of yourself and no matter how much of a relationship you have with your child, you'll be the best you can be for him.
My guess would be that having a volitile or inconsistent relationship with a man in the baby's life may work against you. If you have someone in your life, make sure they are a better component not a problem causing one. Courts will not look kindly to a mother trying to improve herself if she can't control who she brings around her child. Good luck
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I can't imagine what it is like to be in your shoes...to have a child, but not have them with you.
I don't know how useful my insight will be as I don't have children (can't) and am hoping to adopt, but understand the torment Bi-polar can cause.... I think that it speaks volumes for you that you've gotten your life together and are working. There are a lot of people who suffer from BP that are not able to accomplish what you have. Give yourself a pat on the back and a big hugh; you've earned it. Your son... it sounds like he is in a good home with people who love him. However, that as much as it would nice to be ignorant (me)...that doesn't mean that he is better off without you or that he doesn't need you. He needs to know where he comes from and who he is. So much of our identity comes from our family, heritage, and history. He may have a "family" now, but that won't fill the void later in life. I think that it is important that you continue trying to get your life back on track. That will speak volumes to the court and social workers that you are capable, loving mother. Develop a support network, people you can call that will help when you need it. Talk to people and get a plan in place for daycare, medical emergencies, etc... Join support groups, etc...anything you can to stay on track and to show everyone that you are doing whatever it takes which probably means not having contact with the on again off again boyfriend. It shows instability and a connection to stressors that are going to negatively impact mental health stability. BP is a medical condition and managed properly it definitely doesn't mean you can't take care of your son. It just means that you'll have to work extra hard to do so. In my limited knowledge of the system...reunification is the number 1 goal. Kids in the system here are actually there way too long in an attempt to reunify. Generally speaking, right or wrong, people have the child's best interest at heart. You've got to show the system that you do to.
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GET A LAWYER! A DAYUM GOOD ONE!
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I am currently in fostercare and know that things are rough in here. So please do not EVER stop fighting for your child.
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i dont understand bp but i understand how it feel to have your child taken away from you my daughter was taken from me when i was 15 because i was in the sistem and my step aparents who had signed me away and gave me up still had rights to dicision and they did not want me to have my daughter or to raise her so i had her for two weeks in the hospital and when i got out the foster parents took her and i had visitations once a week only then eventually they went to every 2 weeks then every 3 then stayed once a month and then every other moth and 2 times a year to nothing at all my contact was cut off by the system they did a court adoption i lost i had no support and she is almost sixteen and i am aching to see her everyday ithink about her all the time i have to try and cope with not having her around and keep hope one day she will come back i know exactly were she lives i could so easyly go get her but i may loose her for ever i suffer with this whole in my heart and now i have 3 other children and still i miss her i still love my other children but she is still a part missing of me
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