What is Food Addiction
Compulsive overeating is characterised by an addiction to food. An individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or ...
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I'm confessing here that I ate about half of a 1/2 gallon container of ice cream today. Even though I told myself about a million times that I would get my eating under control today. It's so frustrating to feel completely out of control...and then to feel guilty and like I'm making excuses for myself. Grrr!!
Feel free to confess your over eating here too. It's good to get it out in the open... Posted on 10/08/09, 09:10 pm |
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I understand completely. The other day I just couldn't stop eating. I ate crackers, pasta, granola bars, cereal, and all this other crap. I just couldn't stop and I felt so out of control. I even snuck food into my room so that my family wouldn't see. 
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Yesterday I had a cold and alone at home from work. I kept myself busy for the morning, then went to return a video and went into automatic pilot, walked to the grocery store to buy absolute crap. I faintly heard my little voice trying to steer myself clear as I knew what I was doing, it was so tiny in my heard, crying out "don't! You dont want to eat, you're just doing it because you're addicted, it's not the food you want, you'll make yourself sick!" But I steered myself inside, went home and ate a 500ml ice cream, large packet of cookies (26 cookies, TWENTY SIX COOKIES) and a packet of salty crackers with avocado dip.
I felt sick, hopeless and dissapointed with myself. I cried and cried and cried. I cried because i was ashamed I couldn't be alone for mroe than 8 hours without giving in. But today I am filled with new resolve. Today I'm back to day one of no binging and I'm determined to listen to my voices next time, I'm determined to turn that little voice into a scream so loud that it drowns out the voice of my addiction. I'm going to remember that sick, hopeless feeling as much as I can so I know that is a place I never want to get back to. One day at a time.
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My excuse is "this won't hurt" and it wouldn't if that was all I ate but I keep saying that to myself all day long and by the time I"m through - it most definitely did hurt my resolve to change.
Today I have eaten 3 small pizzas (Nutrisystem - no less lol) - two other entrees - Nutrisystem - and two little dough things with cheese and meat on them. Most people lose on Nutrisystem but i just add to it on a daily basis and am gaining weight. Damn!!! For me it has everything to do with how I am feeling about myself - I find strength at meetings - and I find unconditional love there too. It is my key - I just need to get my tail there. Thanks for the post - it felt good to tell you what I ate today.
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