What is Food Addiction
Compulsive overeating is characterised by an addiction to food. An individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or ...
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long post, but i need help!
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i'm back after being away for a while...just thought i'd say hello and ask for some help because that seems to be a part of my problem.
a brief background, i've been an emotional eater for years. that was always apparent. in the later part of 2007, i came across an article in a magazine about binge eating disorder. it was apparent to me that this was my problem. but as an overweight overeater, i had allowed the world to convince me that i was just lazy, had a serious lack of willpower, or simply didn't respect my body. i mean, if i really had a problem with being fat, then i would have done something about it right? oh believe me, i did something about it. i ate. and ate and ate and ate. fast forward to 2009, march to be exact. it took me over a year to get comfortable with reaching out for help in person. i had found this site and it was a great help to me. but i needed more. i finally bit the bullet and began seeing a psychologist who specialises in eating disorders. when i told my mom this, she looked at me like i was crazy. she means well, but i don't think she understands how deep this problem is for me. a recent experience with my niece is what has prompted me to ask my question. while on a family vacation recently, my sister-in-law told us that my 6 year old niece had recently been called "fatso" by a friend of hers. my sister-in-law looked at us and said "can you believe it? at 6?!?" yes. i can beleive it. when i was 5, the same thing happened to me. it continued to happen to me over and over and over again. here's the kicker though. i wasn't fat. and neither is my niece. yes, i was taller, yes i was more solid. i was different and that's what it came down to. that's what it comes down to for her as well. she's BUILT man. i've known she would be bigger for at least the past 3 years. i've been scared for her since the day that i realized that she looks exactly like me. but that kid could kick any other kid's ass. she does everything. i found myself getting really really scared for her and about the profound effect that that experience could have on her. i held it together until i was able to leave and be by myself. i cried all the way home. i cried for the rest of the week. and when i was meeting with my dietician, i completely lost control of my emotions and had a breakdown in her office. all because she wanted to put my food record into a computer program that would show me what nutrients i'm missing in my diet. luckily, i had an appointment with my psychologist later that day. i had to go through the entire story again, and eventually she posed this question to me and for some reason i have absolutely no idea what the answer is. she asked me, "how would you behave differently in the world if you weren't living as the 'fat kid'?" i was stunned. i didn't have an answer then and i don't have one now. mostly because i feel like i am the fat kid. has anyone ever thought about that? does anyone have any insight? i'm stuck. i don't know how to be anything else. i wouldn't overeat. so far, that's the only thing i've been able to come up with. sorry for the looooong post. Posted on 07/04/09, 12:07 am |
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hi :-) I know what you mean. I often feel like people are looking at me and thinking I'm chubby. It's hard to know what's true... I don't think I have a distorted body image, but that can depend on what I've eaten that day. If I didn't feel like I have to be thin, I would have much more space to think about my more pressing concerns, suc as what I really want to do with my life, whether I really want to stay with my BF, etc. I guess that would be a good first step towards picking up the reins and moving towards happines :-) 
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how would you behave differently in the world if you weren't living as the 'fat kid'
I would think about every aspect of your life. Would you behave different with your friends? Would you have different kinds of friends? Would you be more outgoing? Would you be more out-spoken? For me, if I'm thin and don't need to worry about my weight, I'd be more outgoing and more willing to try different things
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thanks for your input guys :)
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im not sure that question re "FAt Kid" was appropriate, to where you are, or else you would have grasped its intention. I just see it as another way to judge people, you need freedom from that.
i wonder if these peoples computers can tell u what other things you have had missing, seems like u have all this help and input but still breaking down upset. is this help helping you?
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What does that say about society when being "fat" would change who you are, how you are accepted, what you can contribute to our world, what you believe in of yourself, etc. etc. Ugh! I know it's the way it is, but how utterly sad. I think I might have had the confidence to go to college, and be a part of a group of kids, instead of withdrawing and feeling like a failure. I might have had the confidence to persue acting like I wanted, or veterinary school or art or photography or any of the things that were in my soul. Who knows?
As it affects me now, I think I would have more friends, be more social, dress in fashion instead of just comfort, and otherwise be happier with the truly good person I am.
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to answer mipoopy's question about this helping me, yes! it is! it's a matter of someone telling me something about myself and then agreeing with it, and consequently, behaving as if it's true. as far as getting support in the "real world" from real people, i'm not ready for that yet. this was the first place that i could think of where people may understand how i'm feeling. the skinny people in my life just don't get it.
the questions, how would my life be different if i didn't live as the "fat kid", is so mulit-faceted, that i didn't even know where to start. the simple answer is: everything would be different. i would dress differently, i would talk differently, i would think differently. my confidence would be real, i wouldn't praise myself for eating a salad and punish myself for eating a brownie. i would not diet. but mostly, i think, i wouldn't spend my entire like in constant judgement of myself. for me, it's not about cutting out sugar, doing 'southbeach' or learning to LOVE excercise. it's not about weightloss. it's not about the newest pill or the latest shake. it's not about the fastest way to get thin. it's not even about being skinny anymore. it's simply a matter of how i think.
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