What is Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia (FM or FMS or Fibro) is a debilitating chronic syndrome (constellation of signs and symptoms) characterized by diffuse or specific muscle, joint, or bone pain, fatigue...
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Ok so I feel like a big idiot even posting this because I think I already know the answer. You all know I have fibromyalgia, and I am STILL struggling with it daily. So I heard my (ex) husband needed help. He landed himself in jail and at first I offered him a place to stay when he gets out. I sent him a whole bunch of stuff on narcotics anonymous (they saved my life)...and things about how to get him SSI for his emotional problems.
I kinda felt excited at first about the possible change in my life that may be for the better. But I received a letter from him yesterday that just stopped me in my tracks. We both understand that we have to get a divorce for many reasons. However, I did not know that he sent me the papers...he just kept asking me to sign when I get them...but never mentioned they actually went out. He accused me of ripping them up, and that his lawyer has more copies. Then he wants me to send him money for items in jail (which I already do) AND pay for stuff that he had in pawn. He used to pawn a gold chain and a ring for extra cash to drink. I have a HUGE heart, and that often leads me to be nieve sometimes. I really try to see the best in everyone, knowing that everyone has the ability to make something of themselves etc. But after I got that letter I felt "different"...I can't exactly put a finger on it. But I don't want to just change my mind over night. He doesn't have a place to go when he gets out...a lot of places do not want to take him because of his emotional disturbance. With this said, am I strong enough mentally and physically to take care of someone else? It's hard taking care of myself most of the time lol. I'm just afraid if I take on his crap, then I am going to get sicker. I did write him a letter yesterday giving him the name of some halfway houses, and I contacted his old lawyer. Thats when I was told that most of those places wont take him because of his history. Is this my problem?? I dunno *sigh* Posted on 10/03/09, 11:10 am |
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Given that I married a philandering alcoholic believing that he would "change" I certainly don't have any room to laugh at YOU.
I DO suggest that first, you take the awesome and heartfelt advice you've been given here and kick him to the curb, and second, that you find an Al-Anon meeting and get some support for yourself because he will surely come at you with more demands and heaps of guilt - it's what addicts do - they deflect. All of his problems are someone else's fault in his mind, and he is just a helpless victim. Under any other scenario he'd be forced to confront his demons, get help, and get clean. If you want to talk privately please feel free to PM me - I've been where you are - sadly more than once - and I lived to tell about it and got my sanity back. 
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if you have to ask...if you can handle it and it's your problem then you already know the answer!
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