What is Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia (FM or FMS or Fibro) is a debilitating chronic syndrome (constellation of signs and symptoms) characterized by diffuse or specific muscle, joint, or bone pain, fatigue...
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So angry I can spit!
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I lost my insurance customer service position in January of this year. Partly from depression and partly from Fibromyalgia. I went from over $40,000.00 per year to unemployment. I applied for disability in January thinking I might be able to support myself on that and I was just notified in November that I can only get $1,313.00 per month. I am in constant fatigue and (thanks to modern medicine) only in occasional pain. I have lost my ability to concentrate and multi task. I believe this has something to do with "forcing myself" to be "normal" like I used to be. My laundry and housework are piling up. I haven't scrubbed my floors in months and I only wash clothes when I run out of the cleaner dirty items. My husband washes his own clothes now and our towels, otherwise we wouldn't have any clean towels. I can't kick this depression and I am on Effexor and Depakote. I see a psychiatrist AND a therepist! I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I want to be happy and clean my house. I WANT A CLEAN HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! I know there are very sick people in the world who need a miracle, but I can't discount myself anymore becuase of the worse-off. I pray for everyone to get a miracle and all I want is to kick the depression. I started with an itching blister rash on my arms, shoulders and knees. I have been to a dermatologist and she says "it's me". That becuase I can't stop scratching, I won't heal. But how can I stop scratching if the blisters won't go away?!! Now I have ugly sores on my hands that I have scratched to the point of leaving scars. I can't even go on a job interview with these hands!!!!! (Not that I can find a company that's hiring anyway) I feel like I am caught in a swirling whirl pool of choices and becuase they are spinning so fast I can't focus on what to grab. I'm trying to look straight ahead but everything is a blur of color. I feel very alone, dependant and unatractive. I no longer have the "front office appeal" and can't even answer phones for a living. I know.....wah, wah, wah.......
Posted on 12/01/09, 03:32 am |
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Welcome to the group. Sorry things are so bad. I wish I knew what to say. I could have written what you did with the exception of the husband and a different job. This illness is the pits. This is the best place to vent. Your not alone there are alot of nice people here and good info.
Sending Hugs and Prayers that things get better for you. 
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Welcome and yes so sorry things are this bad especially around the holidays. I too could have written the above except the hubby part. I was forced to go gon Fed disability (SSD) 6 years ago and only recieve 691 a month so I very much know how much it sucks. In the last 2 months I finally have felt decent enough to return to work part time out of my home but its taken 6 years of living and feeling like shit to even get this far.
Sorry you had to find us but glad you did we are a great group hopefully you can find some comfort with us. Love & Peace Raven
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I am so sorry for your situation. I too was on a short term disability and coming to work everyday is a struggle now. Don't feel bad for venting...this is the place.
First off, do you have anyone who can help you clean your house...children, neighbors, people at church...sometimes even with a small donation, teens can help you accomplish this. This may help with the depression part also. Keep working with your doctors as there is more they need to be doing for you. It is not unreasonable to control this rash. My prayers are with you, Pam
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yes welcome and feel free to vent anytime. I would be curious to find out why you are getting those blisters in the first place. did the rhuemetologist rule out other things? Maybe it is time for you to try a different antidepressant if that one isn't working. I think I would insist. We do have to be proactive in are care. Hugs and feel better.
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Vent away, we hear you. I am like Dallas, why do you have blisters?? I would seek a second opinion. I wish you better days and please know they will come. Hang in there and if the meds are not helping to keep your depression under control you might want to concider other avenues. There are a lot of people that have been helped with alternative methods. Check out "natural supplements" they might work for you.
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To everyone, Thank you so much for all of your inspiration and advise. I did not know I would get this much feed-back!!! Do any of you live near Baltimore, Maryland? Thanks, Hugs and Happy Holidays to all of you! Sunnie
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sorry to hear that! hugzzz
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Hey dear, so sorry you're feeling so bad! i hope you start to feel better soon!
But about the rash - yes a second opinion is a great idea. I don't know what kind of med you are on for the fibro itself, but while I was on Lyrica - I got a terrible itchy rash, all over my body - I had itching when I moved to Gabapentin too. I know a lot of medications have a rash as a side effect. I wish you the best of luck - good vibes coming your way. *hugs*
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hmmm I would be intrested in knowing more about this blister rash thing... I had one about a year ago thatlasted 6 months that nothing helped and could not be diagnsed as anyting....
I hear ya on the dirty cloths and cleanhouse... Out side of sympathising with you may I suggest that you ask for a clean hose for christmas???? maybe either from your own money or ask for contributions from those that would other wise buy you gifts you dont need t chip in and buy you a clean hosue for christmas??? and a follow up visit to clean the house back up and put away the tree after christmas??? :P I had to stop working in september and I dont think I will be able to go back any time soon.... only time will tell. But if the baby comes and I still cant breath Im saying screw it and appling for disability as well as handicapped plates
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The rash almost does sound like a nervous thing. Have you tried anything like Xanax? That may help. As for me, I had really bad side effects from the Effexor years ago. If I were you I think I would be asking for a different antidepressant as well. Considering what I went through with Effexor I would not be surprised if that stuff was causing your rash. Good luck and let us know how you make out!
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