What is Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia (FM or FMS or Fibro) is a debilitating chronic syndrome (constellation of signs and symptoms) characterized by diffuse or specific muscle, joint, or bone pain, fatigue...
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feeling down... please help
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Ok so I dont post this kind of post often... but I need to vent and I need to be pulled out of this hole.
I have SOOOO much going on and i feel like Im shuting down. I am officially 31 weeks pregnant. I have 8 weeks to go til the baby comes. I have a little over 5 weeks til hubbycomes home. I am missing human contact. I am sick of a dirty house. My body is sooo sore from having to be in bed so much. My sleep is so screwed up. I can barely fall asleep befor 5 am and then I wind up sleeping ALL day. Mean while my daughter who is 5 falls asleep around 1 or 2 in the morning and is up by noon. She is such a good girl. She stays out of trouble and plays with her toys or on my lap top while I rest those few hours I need after she wakes up. She has gotten so independant the last month because mom cant take care of her the right way. I buy her 'snacks' that she can feed her self. Fruit and lunchables yougurt and stuff. SHe pretty much decides when she is hungry and gets her self food. She even makes momy sandwhiches. To be honest I dont know what I would do with out her. I am in so much pain and I even when Im not I cant breath to get up to do what needs to be done. I know that part of my problem is my fibro pain, part is pregnancy problems and part is from my bipolar. I am working so hard to not fall into a rut and for my biploar to take over but its hard when Im in pain and feel so socially isolated. And the fact that I cant even go to the toystore to walk around and let me daughter make her christmas list is sooo frustrating. They dont have the carts to go by them selves and I run out of breath soooo fast that I cant make it throught the store. I know my fibro is making me sturggle to recover and breath better. I cant help but think if I didnt have fibro I wouldnt be having such a hard time getting back to normal. I am just so sick of life looking so dim. I should be in heaven right now expecting my third and last baby. I havelearned how to pace myself. I have accepted that my c section will take 3 months to not hurt instead of 6 weeks. I have accepted that me and baby will be on mommy/baby time for the first 6 months and that maybe in 6 months to a year I can look at going back to work for my own emotional well being if I want to. But at least thats for a good reason. Its still hard accepting that the pain is slowing me down too. I get to where i think I am accepting then I fell so overwhelmed again.... Is acceptance ever truely complete? I have been at this for over 16 years and I think Im pretty well accepting but then bam.... Am I being a horrible mom letting my daughter be so independant at 5? She still asks permission most the time. But then we go places like my moms and she displays this level of independance and it makes my mom nervous... have I overstepped what is ok for a 5 year old???? How do I keep my emotions from going to the extreams with my bipolar??? I know many of you probally cant answer that one. I am unmedicated for my BP so I am doing it on my own. I have hit an avoidance behavior and I need to snap out of it. I need to call the people that Ive been avoiding like my councilor and my medical apts and get back in the swing of things.... Its just so hard Sorry its so long.... but I neeed to vent Posted on 11/07/09, 07:11 pm |
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just remembered. when i was l3 i was the babysitter for two little neighborhood boys. i took care of them every afternoon while their mother worked in another room. we played records, and danced and made songs up and took walks and we all had a ball. i really loved them. arthur and frankie. wish i knew where they were now. 
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my grand d comes over every other week! & i kinda have same sitution =i'm mostle bedridden w/ aew good days =i have drawers under my bed & all around sides to ceiling =she has three doors on her dside of bed & one is filled w/ heaklthy non frig snacks pudding jello, trail mix ,water powered kool-aid! she comes in take shoe off & heads for he bed! other two drawers are filled w/ activity books ,paper, glue, scissors! & we use metal trys not only for eating but any gluing/coloring! we watch movies & dvd's! i have a air blower pop corn making i keep in the bedroom & she can make pop corn!
You might want to put a small table & chair in your room for her to set & do projects! or even a blanket on floor! so shes in the same room w/ you! she has been making story boards/ little books by cutting out old magizines & makingher own books that keeps her busy! for hrs & then i let her play make0-with my old stuff! & clothes & she goggles Hanna Montana for hrs too! singing out loud! My Grand daughter loves it that i let her make her own stuff ie: kool-aid ect! iTS GOOD FOR THEM TO LEARN TO BE INDEPENDANT= YOU ARE STILL THERE WITHE HER! i WAS LEFT ALONE W/ SIBLEY SINCE I WAS BORN =HANDED TO MY 7YR OLD SIsTER LIKE A LIVE DOLL! SHE GOT MARRIED @ 14 LEAVING ME BY MYSELF TILL MY MOTHER GOT REMARRIED TO A GUY THAT TRIED TO RAPE ME! she said i misunderstood=cause he had epilepys! & was just having a spell! I HAD TO LIVE W/ HIM AS A STEP FATHER, 35YRS! I THINK YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB! & SHE WILL BE A GREAT HELP WITH THE BABY! HOPE YOU HAVE SOMEONE ON STANDBY IF YOU NEED TO GO IN=TO TAKE CARE OF HER! HEALING PRAYERS & ANGELS TO WATCH & GUIDE YOU! OXO PAULA
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Hang in there BugBite, it's not long now, and it sounds like you have done as much as you can. Be proud of what you've been able to achieve and there is nothing wrong with going back on your meds and using formula. You have the welfare of your entire family in your mind when making that decision. I know it seems long and hard, but you're in the home straight now and hubby will be there soon. Just keep resting and don't stress about the house or anything else, these can be looked after at a later date.
Take care. Hugs
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Isnt there any group you ccan contact to give you a bit of relief? Like a church, or something like that? I know if I were healthy, and lived next door to you..I would gladly come over and help you a couple of times a week. The hard thing is asking.
A couple of gals could come over and vacuum or make a dinner for you..or something.
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I don't think 5 is too young to shoulder a little responsibility - especially if she takes to it so easily. Just be careful to not put too much on her - helping is one thing but in charge is another. I was very conscientious about having one sib babysit another because this kind of thing got out of hand with my sibs and I and the problems STILL persist. My mother simply had too many kids.
The best Christmas present I ever found for my kids was at a yard sale. I got a really neat kid tool shed structure that was all scratched and marred. Pots of paint were included in the gift and my sons painted the shed and turned it into their headquarters for A-Team adventures. The second best find was a refrigerator box and markers for my daughter. With FM, you've got to think outside the box.
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