What is Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia (FM or FMS or Fibro) is a debilitating chronic syndrome (constellation of signs and symptoms) characterized by diffuse or specific muscle, joint, or bone pain, fatigue...
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I feel like a child again....
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and not in control of my own life anymore!Yesterday my hubby told me about 2:00 that I needed to take nap and that he and my daughter were going to take the babies to town while I did so.I didn't argue because I was already exaulsted and had been thinking about it anyway.Him and my daughter both have taken to telling me to take naps and to go on to bed at night.Even though I know that they are right I still get irritated because it makes me feel like a 5 year old.I know that they love me and are trying to take care of me but it still makes me mad sometimes.At this monster[fibro]not them.
Today is my b'day and they[hubby and daughter] gave me a surprise party last night with all of my family,about 60 people in all.I really enjoyed it but around 8:30 everyone started leaving and by 9 they were all gone.When I asked my hubby about it he told me that he had told everyone that they needed to be real carefull and not overly tire me out.And that he had asked everyone to leave by 9:00 because he was afraid it would be too much for me if it lasted longer than that.As soon as everyone was gone he asked me if I thought I should go on to bed.I knwo that he is trying to take care of me but I still feel like a kid.Being told when to take a nap,how long my guests can stay for my party and then when to go to bed at night.My daughter has almost completely taken over my house,doing the cleaning,cooking and taking care of the babies.She also helps me my personl hygeine like clipping my nails and brushing my hair.When I am in the shower she will keep checking on me[because I have fallen before].She never complains about taking on so much but it makes me feel horrible.She had a real bad break up here awhile back and now she tells any guy who wants to take her out she can't because she has to "take care of Momma".She is only 20 years old she should be out having fun and making plans for her own life,she won't even go to collage because she says she needs to be here for me,to take care of me.I don't want her tied down to me and not have a life of her own.When I say anything about it she says"Mom,you have always taken care of me,now let me take care of you." Am I being petty and ungratefull?I don't mean to be,I just want my old life back!!To an adult again! Posted on 11/07/09, 07:11 am |
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I would happy if someone was taking care of me. I guess it's hard either way. Is there a local college your daughter could go to. Maybe she doesn't know what she wants to do. I would have her check out the local ones or see if their is an off campus close to you. All you can do is encourage her to get out and enjoy life, she maybe using you to avoid that because of the bad breakup. Maybe by next semester she will be ready to go back to school and get out and meet people. 
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No great words of wisdom, just wanted to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
HUGS from down south :)
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well..yea...idk how to EVEN respond to that...Nice that he is Concerned, but that comes across as a bit Smothering...do You ever Decide when it is time to take a Nap ? or do you just keep Pushing Self til someone Else Notices ur Fatigued ?
Yupp...that would get on my Nerves right quick...all grown up now !!
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I probably do push myself too far and I know that they are only trying to take care of me because they love me but still I feel like I am loosing control of my life.
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I'd sit them both down and tell them that you are not a child and that you will decide how much you will do and when. It's great that they are looking after you and love you so much but that would be a bit smothering to me too. Maybe you can tell both a code word you will use if people are around and you want them to leave. That way, you decide when they should go. It sounds like they love you very much but just need to tone it down a bit!
Happy, happy birthday to you!
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Happy birthday to you. I am so happy you have a family that loves you and cares for you. So many of us don't. Yes you need to let them know you would like to have more control of your life. I could only take that kind of treatment for a short time if at all. Just tell them as they obviously love you. I think they will understand. maybe your daughter just isn't ready to start dating again and thats why she tells them that. Big hugs
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That's so tough. I think one of the hardest things about fybro is the lack of control I feel over my life and I find it so hard to be told when to rest, sleep, eat, go home as I look tired..! Sometimes I want to scream at them, "leave me alone I am an adult with my own mind" and other times I want to run at them (not that I could run lol) and kiss them for noticing I feel rubbish. My husband is so patient, but sometimes he will say to me " this is hard for me too you know" and then I realise, fibro is horrible for everyone, for me, for him for my friends and they react too. Hmmph. I guess I am coluding with you here, saying "yes.. it's rubbish" and hoping you find some peace in your struggles as it sounds like you're having a hard time.
xxx
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Wow...you are really loved!
There is a fine line to balancing it...but you are on the plus side of benefits! And some very good tips here for talking with your family and developing some patterns that allow you to maintain control of all that you can. I feel like a 3 year old again too, even when it is my decision to take a nap, almost daily! And we are blessed when we have family members to support that - and tell us they envy the ability to get naps! They love us....what a wonderful thing to be thankful for!
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It really sounds to me like his heart is in the right place & he's trying to be supportive. This sounds like something that could be handled by some gentle communication. Have you been clear about what you need from hi in order to be helped? He may not know where your boundaries are & the poor guy can't be expected to guess.
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ahh...a clarification:
I feel like a child again because of what this disease/condition/syndrome is doing to me. I think you are saying you family members actions are making you feel like a child - and you have a solution - you can talk to them and maybe change that. They seem to love you so much that they will listen to you when you explain to them. Hugs and best wishes.
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