What is Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia (FM or FMS or Fibro) is a debilitating chronic syndrome (constellation of signs and symptoms) characterized by diffuse or specific muscle, joint, or bone pain, fatigue...
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life sucker
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Sometimes I hate this disease so much. It's a mean cruel life sucker that is stealing the best years of my life. It steals our dreams. I used to want to be a missionary...to go serve the poorest of the poor. It's not supposed to be like this, I'm ony 25 years old. I can't do the things other people do at my age. They stay out and play games and go hiking and sky diving and white water rafting. They stand around and talk and they don't have to sit down after five minutes. They seem to have boundless energy and I just can't be like them. All my friends are in their 40's and 50's. I can't keep up with the young people. It shouldn't be that way and sometimes it just hurts so bad that i just want to curl up in a ball under the covers and cry. I am so sick of hurting every single minute of every single day. Going to walmart and carrying a purse shouldn't be exhausting. I don't want to lay in this bed for the rest of my life but somedays its all i can do to get up and go to the bathroom. This is an evil cruel disease. What do you do when you have nothing left to fight with, when you have no energy left to give to keep going. Some days I wish I didn't have to wake up. I'm just so tired of fighting fighting fighting all the time. Why does it have to hurt so bad!
Posted on 10/31/09, 12:10 am |
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No one know's at my job either but I know there not stupid they know something's wrong. 
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speaking of work.... i'm so glad i got my VA compensation pay and SSDI. i couldn't keep up with work and almost ended up homeless back in early 07. VA wasn't paying enough so i had to work, but then i could do it anymore. i physically couldn't get up and do it. not to mention falling asleep at work all the time and the PAIN, gosh the pain.....
but yeah, they knew something wasn't right. i told 2 people at work including my boss at the time. then someone else at work fell ill and starting missing days, then stopped coming too. they called me and told me she had fibromyalgia. all of a sudden they believed me that this shit is hell. funny how it took another person of getting so sick for them to believe me that i really was "sick". thankk GOD i don't have to work anymore... that time in my life was absolute hell. that one year between falling out of work and then finally getting SSDI approved, total HELL. i thought i really was gonna end up homeless.
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I so hear you nadya, and I am so sorry your having such a hard time. I too am where you are, but we must try to keep fighting. I know just the other day, I had one of those days, where I curled up in bed, and cryed my eyes out for the cruelty of this, and every thing else I have lost, but with the support and love of this group, I am back at fighting for what ever I can get.
I sure hope you find your way back to the fighting fields, and with luck and perseverance you will find your way out, and find a good balance. I am so sorry, your so young and having to deal with this. My heart goes out to you. Sending you, caring positive thoughts. Gentle hugs, Sherrall
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Thankyou for all your sweet replies ((((((((((((gentle hugs))))))))))))))))
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I relate. This illness has robbed of my life and reduced me to just watching TV, playing on my XBOX 360, surfing the web, or playing my guitar. Hells, I cannot even play my guitar for very long because of the pain!
I am not living, I am merely existing. I do not want to die, but I sometimes just do not see the point of going on like this. So I play video games and loose myself in a fantasy world just to stave of a suicidal depression. I hope some day things get better... but I am not holding my breath. So back to playing Fallout 3 (a video game) and pretending that I am the savior of a post apocalyptic future.
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I am so sorry you feel this way. I know excatly how you feel. This disease has taken everything from me already. I mean 'Everything" but my life but when you don't have anything to look forward to and are in pain every second of the day you just don't want to live any more. I wish I can say it gets better but it hasn't for me yet. I wish I can say I hope you feel better tomorrow but you probably won't and this I am sorry for. Just know that you are not alone that there are many other people who care that are going through the same exact thing. Your post reminds me of me. I also wanted to work in a missionary. I still do. I think about it all the time. But I can't. A few of my cousins my same age which is 33 are in the missionaries. So that just makes it that much worse. hearing all the time about what they are doing and how proud everyone is of them etc. That was my life! Those were my dreams long before any one of my cousins even thought of doing something like that. But what can you do? I guess I have to be happy that at least they are doing God's work even if I can't. Hang in there! We all care!
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I'm sorry to hear you're having a bad time. I've had fibro. for 10 years. The 2 most important discoveries for me was a supplement called advanced ambrotose, gave my life back, I keep going off of it because I start to feel better but always go back on it and am always amazed. It's not cheap but can be purchased on ebay for alot cheaper. In a nutshell it helps our immune systems communicate with our bodies better. Another thing is do whatever it takes to get a good nights sleep. I take an over the counter sleep aid on bad nights. Don't underestimate diet, try to stay away from alot of sweets and junk food, lots of veges and fruits and whole grains. Don't give up on feeling better. If you have any questions about the ambrotose I'd be glad to share. You can also look up www.glycoscience.com, They have done alot of research and studies on this.
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Bluesun, you are so much like me! It would be wonderful if we all lived closer....of course we can't really DO anything..lol, but we could sit around and be together!
nadya, I am sorry for you and all of us that are young and battling this disease. I feel like an old lady...only I never got to live my life! I try to find happiness and do what I can but it is SO frustrating! Wish I could go out with my friends and be "normal". But importantly we can know that we are not alone!
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