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Can I cry a lil?
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I know this isn't fibro related but can I cry to all my friends here for just a moment.
It just sunk in.
Tried texting my mom.. She changed her number. Tried my sister and her number is changed as well. And it just hit me.
I thought being angry would help me.. And I got really angry. But today I'm done. I didn't get a call when they left the country to go to Cuba and that hurt but this? I can't deal with this.
I know I'm a screwup to their beliefs but this is a tad overkill. They truly believe that by shutting me out ill come back. But I am so hurt.. I don't know what to do.
Please pray.. That's all I've got left in me. There's no fight anymore. I feel like a dog in a corner. Kicked to where I'm only a shell of what I used to be
Posted on 09/30/12, 12:26 pm
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Reply #1 - 09/30/12  12:36pm
" I'm so sorry . You haven't done anything wrong , please tell your self that . It is them and trying to figure out their actions will not get you any where . What they did was beyond mean . and to do it takes a heartless person . You are better than them in the fact you wouldn't do it to them . So instead of spiraling down beating your self up look at it like I said , and give it time . Don't make any more attempts to contact them or chase them , they will contact you when they see your strength . Pass it off and go on . your a wonderful person they are not . "
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Reply #2 - 09/30/12  12:40pm
" I left my husband. 3.5 years ago and they've never forgiven me for it. I reach out periodically and then this happened. I know I don't deserve it but I'm beyond hurt.
I get made fun of everyday at work.. I know I mess up. I don't know if its fibro fog or just bad memory but I mess up lots.
That on top of being a single mom an working more than full time and not having anyone to turn to is too much "
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Reply #3 - 09/30/12  12:46pm
" I was in the same situation when I left my husband. My family loved him and I never confided in them about the problems because at the time I didn't want them to think badly of him. When the time came that I needed their help and told them the truth, they didn't believe me.

I wish I could say it got better but it didn't. I just had to move on and build a new life without them. It still hurts and tears sting my eyes as I write this.

The best I can offer is that I understand. "
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Reply #4 - 09/30/12  12:47pm
" Thank you peace.. I am crying for the first time in the years I been gone.. I'm just not doing well today "
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Reply #5 - 09/30/12  12:50pm
" You have all of us to turn to.
Don't waste your precious energy on anger or hurt - take that energy and spend it on yourself and your children. That is a choice you can make.
The more anger you feel relates to the more power you give them. They don't deserve it - don't give them any power they are not worth it!!!
We are here for you. You are doing your best, and you need to give yourself credit for that!!
I pray that you find comfort in knowing you are not a shell, you are worthwhile. "
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Reply #6 - 09/30/12  1:01pm
" Families are a nightmare sometimes, and this is utterly rotten of them. I agree, just let them *go*. THey are not helping you in any sense by the sound of it, and why they would not believe you over the ex-hub is baffling to me. What, they never covered up hoping things would get better?! Nobody knows what someone i sreally like unless they live it, IMO, so Phooey on them.

YOu have enough to do and focus on. Have yourself a good long cry, and then feel all the hugs we are sending you, okay? You will get through this. And find people to turn to who do not use your need as a weapon.

Got a SIL who is into those kind of games, and believe me, if I ever needed a glass of water to douse a fire on my head, she'd make me kiss her a** for it first.... which interestingly enough makes me more inclined to kick it....So I will lend you some of my ROAR along with thsoe hugs:-)

Wishing you best cuz you earned it,
Leo "
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Reply #7 - 09/30/12  1:07pm
" Thanks gals. I know I shouldn't even cry for them. I knew when I left that I was leaving them for good. But me and my mom were on somewhat speaking terms. I thought so anyways.
I guess the reason it hurts is no matter what you're always going to want a mom. At least the story books make it sound like they would be supportive if they existed. I will take some roar today.. And maybe meow a lil. That's the best I can do. My three lil girls are coming home and they will find a strong mommy here "
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Reply #8 - 09/30/12  4:18pm
" I agree with everyone here...

Take strength in your relationship with your children and be strong. They are worth it, your family isn't. It's okay to grieve as you have suffered a "loss". I have severed several toxic relationships and although I'm sad about it, know I'm better off in the long run. I have my close family and best friends to get me through things.

P.S. I mess up lots too...it's due to our impared cognitive brain function, not because we have a bad memory. ((((HUGS))))))) "
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Reply #9 - 09/30/12  4:20pm
" Hugs Mary. I don't know what to say to comfort you. It's hurts terribly to be treated badly by the ones we love. "
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Reply #10 - 09/30/12  5:46pm
" I agree with everyone that's written before me. You have suffered a loss and are entitled to grieve. How hurtful for a mother to do that to her daughter....I just can't understand it.

Just remember, as the others have said, that you are so very valuable to others and to your whole family here. We're here for you anytime. Our "phone number" is always the same, and it spells out L-O-V-E. We love our fibro sisters and brothers!

Many hugs and prayers...Elizabeth "

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