Fibromyalgia Support Group

i would slowly describe whats going on and how he can help. if he knows anything about medical stuff he will understand easily, if not- you have to school him!!!!

thats what i did with my husband.

Hi...I am going to be perfectly Blunt here...not Sure how Long you 2 have been together...but...are you Sure he is the One for You ? A Relationship is about a Comfortable Friendship...a Want & Desire to make Your partners Life Better...NOT more Stressful..he Knows Your Medical History...If he cares for you then he should Understand, or at least Make an Attempt to Understand about the effects of having a Stroke, about having this FM.

Actions speak MUCH Louder then Words...he says he Loves you...yet makes you Feel bad...out of Place...it may not be your Job to raise, or Discipline his 12 year old, but if I were in that Position I would have to be 100 percent Involved, or Not at all...Work on Establishing a Friendship...if you care about his son, work on showing him the Real Right way...and the Things that will NOT Be Tolerated..tho you cannot Bulldoze your Opinions...it is as Important since he has a Young Son, to Establish a relationship with Him as well as The father...otherwise the Relationship simply will not work. I Could Not handle anyone at Anyage to disrespect me...that would send my Stress levels SOARING...it is Up to You how Much you are Willing to Tolerate...if it becomes Intolerable then Walk On Girl. and Allow No One to make you Feel bad about how things are For You.

Take care...of Self.

We've been together a year. Its odd almost, hard to explain really. Finding the correct words would be the right thing to say.

Hes 13years my older. His son is the baby of the 3 . Other grown and moved on . Divorced oh 4 years ago or so. Wife was a screamer and head game player so I understand from what Im told. Hes old fashion to say the least. In fact his ex was the only one. Till me.

from what I can gather, the childs mother always has excuses for the boy. Like oh your aunt was that way or your dad is this way....( messy ) so why should the just turned 12 year old be any different. The boy wont even listen to his dad or mother.. Its a screaming match. The father knows the child is doing wrong. But has backed off cause of his age. * His older children told me there was no way they could of done what the child does or they would of been in trouble, his oldest son is agreeing with me and helping *

I h onestly believe hes afraid to dicipline cause the boy uses it as a leverage. Like call his uncle to pick him up and then not return for 3 to 4 months at a time etc. No one will put there foot down. So Im left looking like the big bad wolf.

I love the guy Im dating , and have deep concern for the son. When the boy isnt here for months on end. His dad and I are awsome, not one problem. Hes carring , helpful, loving, handzy, like a kid in a toy store.

Its like total night and day when the boy is here.

Hmmm..I am not sure this relationship is helping you, right now. get a third party to help your boyfriend the importance of getting this behavior to stop. I just would think, common sense, would dictate that strokes have severe side effects. These guys are pretty insensitive.

You keep your chin up!

First, when my fiance' came into the picture, I gave him an artical,simple not too long on fibro. Adding the stroke in there has got to be more difficult. Him getting upset at you for something you cannot help is ridicuous.
your a valuble person.

Now on the son, your really in a hard position. I went to counseling over my fiances' daughter, she was 12 as well. And one thing the counselor said was its really important that the "other woman" is not put in the position of disciplining. She already has to try and fit into the life of the child. Is there any chance at all they will both go to get counseling with you? As a group thing? Thats the best thing I can think of to help.

THe first thing that came to my mind reading your entry was were did the boy learn the lack of respect for women. I am sure watching the mom yell and what not doesnt help but what example did the dad set about respecting women??? THat makes me wonder how he is later in the relationships after the honeymoon stage. SO I would just proceed with cation and open eyes.

As for helpinghim understand that you dont remember Im sure he can understand the effects that stokes can have on the brain. You may have a hard time getting him to understand fibro but a stroke should be a different story.... Definantly start teaching him about it. When he tries to tell you about an activity or something that needs to be done 'soon' remind him immeadiately after he tells you that he will have to remind you befor the event or when you get home so you can write it down. then every so often just randomly ask him what it was that you were suppose to remember and see if he volunteers anything. Maybe he will get the point a bit. I would even ask if you know and you just want to stress to him that your memory sucks.... if you know the answer befor you ask you can help him remember to help you to remember.

As for the son, counciling sounds in order for sure. Unfortuanntly there probally isnt a huge differance you can make simply because he is allowed to punish dad for punishing him. You need to try to establish a relationship with him based of respect for his acheivements and positive things and help him see your positives too. Maybe once you have a relationship with him as friends you will finally be able to make head way with him. It took my son and my husband over 4 years of working on a relationship and they are only 10 years apart age wise. so they had a lot they could bond over. It also took my son moving to his dads and only being there a minimal amount of time and he also stayed ot of disapline completely. It was hard but they finally worked it out....

Hang in there