Female Sexual Issues Support Group

i think all women can orgasm, sometimes it can just take more work. youre pretty sure to orgasm with a vibrator. i had this prob for a while too...i can always orgasm with clit stimulation, but not really with gpot stimulation. i hear it just takes alot of practise?

thank you, but my question was addressed to women are in relationships currently, having sex but not having orgasms with their partner.
i am curious specifically about how they think it impacts their relationship, how they cope with the disappointment (or if they even view it as a disappointment), etc.
personally i do have orgasms, but during the years i didn't, it eventually contributed to my relationships failing. i would like to hear from other women who are or have been in this situation,

When I was dating my boyfriends I was NEVER able to have a orgasm. Now Im dating my great guy now and I feel it impacts me more which in return impacts the sex life. I do feel as if it is pointless to have intercourse with him because I usually do not orgasm or Im so over focused on trying to have one that the forplay is not that great. It has not ended any relationships for me because guys like to bolt on me after they get sex. If you have a good guy he will stay with you and work on trying to please you and suggest you maybe see a sex therapist or look online for other ways. I do stay turned on by my man because of the emtional connection I have with him. Sure seeing him nude and him touching me turns me on. Seeing him being pleased is what really keeps me turned on. That's how I stay turned on is trying to keep him pleased. BEcause if he is please the better pleaseing he will do for me. Somedays I beat myself up harder about it all then others. But I also have to remember that this is not a uncommon problem for females. More females then not have trouble having a orgasm. It's just not as talked about. But like poeple say its not quantity its quality. That has somewhat the same effect with sex also. Yes we all want to have a orgasm but some of us just can't but you have to enjoy the sexual intercourse you are having with your partner and learn to embrass that. Maybe Im just preching more now. But I guess it's just not all about the orgasm. It's about being close with your man. Hope things look up for you!

i am married i have a two year old son, i wish that my sex life was better with my husband, but its not, when we were younger and fist started having sex it was great, i would brag about it, loving it! then i had my son, everything changed, i didnt get off the way i used to and sex became this unattrative thing, more like a chore than enjoyment. At this point i am so confused, i am fantaizing about other men, men i have never met, more like made-up men, and i use my vibrator. i just wish that when i had sex made love with my husband, it would at least feel good, it feels like nothing. i am so confused, is it me? do i not love my husband anymore. i am finding more and more things wrong with him. but then i feel guilty and tell myself i do love him. anyone have some good words for me?

beingabletodo:
although i have a very different sexual history than you, i find myself in the same predicament in long-term relationships -- i cannot stay aroused by the same partner indefinitely, no matter how much i love them. when i first become sexual with someone, my arousal level is very high, i get turned on just by being around them, talking. but inevitably, although the time period varies, i can't get turned on by them anymore. it's not like i started at level 10 and went to level 6; it's more like i went from level 10 to zero! the sad thing is, it's not that i don't want sex; i can still be attracted to and aroused by other people, just not my partner. the longest time i have been able to stay turned on by one person was 2 years. someone called it ''relationship ADD''.
i have personally never had a child before, so i know my issues are different, but i hear women all the time talking about how they lost interest in sex after childbirth, so it might just be a matter of biology. maybe that's what's going on with you. if you find that you are actively interested in other people, that may just be escapist fantasies you engage in because you're frustrated and can't see a solution. it may just take more to get you ''worked up'' than it used to; sexual interest within relationships often fluctuates like that. i hope this makes sense...try not to give up.

hey, spiky,
well i actually findly found the courage to speak about this issue with my husband, i know it was hard for him to hear that he wasnt doing it for me anymore, i sugguestewd we use toys now, which in a way is frustrating because sometimes you just want to be in and out, and done and HAPPY about it. i am finding this relationshop hard its up and down, he loves me everyday, where sometimes i think about moving out, then i change my mind and say no way i really do love him, i think that when sex sint good people do fantasize about other things, something that i will take to the grave is that "the grass isnt greener on the other side" we have been together for about 6 years know have our son, he is hurt and our lives have been tossed upside down, transition and change can feel like parting times, i had a perfect life, and now i am dealing with other responsibliities, he never wants to do anything and maybe i am taking my resentment out on our sex life....???

I have been married 22 yrs and have never had an orgasm! That's hard to say...i enjoy sex, we have a lot of sex and finally have been addressing the situation...so to speak. I come to the breaking point with a vibrator, but the feeling does not last. As far as keeping long term relationships going this way...I wonder if it isn't taking a tole on our relationship. My husband is great. I know he'd like to make me cum. It will happen.

Miabay,
it's very encouraging that you have such a positive attitude! i unfortunately can't even get past the fact that i can't have orgasms while having intercourse, never mind dealing with the loss of interest. it makes me sad, because i feel like the window of opportunity is limited, in any relationship i have, for me to reach the level of arousal i would imagine it would require for me to have orgasms that way. i feel like it would take the maximum level of arousal to get off from intercourse, but i can never maintain that without switching partners. jumping from bed to bed may have been fine when i was younger, but i want a lasting, stable relationship now. i guess my point is that the loss-of-desire problem might be playing a role in my inability to find out how to orgasm the way i want. i am so desperate just to know what it feels like, and i am so jealous of women who can orgasm that way. on the other hand, maybe i'm kidding myself -- so far i haven't climaxed from intercourse even when i was really turned on -- and i have always been a very sexual person, and (at least initially) i get aroused very easily and respond very intensely. (it's a good thing i'm not a guy, i would be getting erections in embarrassing situations).
anyway, my original point in creating this topic was to understand how sexual interest is sustained withing a relationship over a long period of time. 22 years is pretty impressive, i can't imagine staying aroused by the same partner for that long. maybe my choices of partners are all wrong -- all i know is it's been consistent throughout my life. i was sure that once i was able to have orgasms with a partner it would resolve itself, and although when it did happen it was great and added a new dimension to the sexual experience, it still didn't prevent my desire from eventually dwindling. i would often go out and cheat just out of frustration. i don't want to have to do that, i love my boyfriend and he can make me climax, but i just don't get excited by him the way i used to. i have sex with him occasionally still, but it's very mechanical, like scratching an itch. there's no passion.

Miabay,
it just occurred to me -- maybe you're having orgasms, but they're just very small? since they might not fit with your preconceptions about orgasms, you might not think you're having them. i sometimes have very small orgasms -- almost like hiccups -- but i find that after that i can still have more because i'm not too sore yet, and the subsequent ones are always more intense.