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Discussion:
can't finish sex
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my boyfriend and i have been having sex for three years. but i can count on one hand the number of times he's finished inside me.

what happens is we'll be fooling around, and he'll get hard and we start having sex. but then either he complains he can't feel it, or he gets so nervous from previous problems that he can't keep the erection. he's uncircumcised and we use a condom, but he cums all the time when i give him a blow job or sometimes even a hand job.

is it erectile dysfunction or something else? how do i handle this when he is SO sensitive about it? he feels like a failure and an embarrassment even though i've been nothing but loving and supportive.
Posted on 07/10/12, 11:42 pm
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Reply #1 - 07/11/12  12:53am
" First thing is to talk to him, really talk to him. Most men just want to be left alone when it comes to their manhood. It is a sensitive subject.
If you are usuing condoms, that may have a factor. So does the type of condom.
If it is sychological he has to sort that out for himself and if you truely love him you'll be by his side.

There are other ways of getting satified than just him using his penis or even his body. Be creative. "
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Reply #2 - 07/17/12  10:28pm
" yes, we've tried a bunch of special condoms, and i believe it's a physical issue that has turned into a psychological one over time (because of past failure).

i do love him very much and will stand by him no matter what.

anybody else have any advice or suggestions? "
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Reply #3 - 07/19/12  9:07am
" There is 'talking about it' and 'talking about it', as justwanna said, we guys don't need a reminder were having issues, however with careful dealing, you can change this around.
He's worried about past times, right? he needs an exception to break his inner belief. First off, break the pattern. If you do what you did, you'll get what you got! Don't let him spend time thinking about stuff, when he's doing his thing (inside you) after a short while, change position, find one that you can squeeze your inner muscles the best and urge him to go faster buy encouraging him..."Oh yes, like that" that kind of thing, then because you are tighter inside, this brings most guys on faster. we work on the principal of the faster we go and something to push into (we feel it better) the faster we come! We like to know you're enjoying what we're doing, so let him know (be a little vocal, but don't ham it up, you know the thing, yes?)
Keep him on his toes (not literally silly lol) don't let him get time to dwell or run his old thoughts, get using positions etc.
My favourite thing to suggest to women who's guys can't finish or get erect etc is THE BAN! Ban him from ANY sex for a few days etc and in the meantime, give him sexy but short kisses so he keeps getting hornier and hornier through the days. Soon he will show signs of extreme interest, and when he's fit to beg you for it, tell him he can but he is NOT to come! "you can be inside me but no coming in me is allowed, "I will decide how you come tonight" at this point he should be rampant with lust, and a bit put out that he's told he can't come inside you. Can you see the psychology in this? tell him he can't he'll want to all the more. When he's in full swing, remind him "no coming I said" at this point, tighten up those inner muscles and encourage a bit "oh that's good..." I'm willing to bet after a short while, he will announce the impending climax, just say "keep going, this is nice, but TRY not to come". 'try' implies failure, and the word 'come' is a command in itself. In effect you are setting him up to 'fail' at not coming inside you, get the idea? When he's so very close a few "yes's" and "faster" will seal the deal! You tell him with wide eyes "OMG that was amazing" his ego with be through the roof, so will his new found confidence, smashing most or all old beliefs that he can't finish in you.
Even if it's over a bit sooner than expected, don't patronise, just tell him you love the feeling he gave you, then quickly move on with some other sexy stuff, remember, keep him from dwelling.
Always put a good spin on things...It's not how long you last, it's how special that made me feel" etc. Again, don't patronise "oh honey, it was wonderful" he knows it was not his best work, let it stay at that!
If your inner muscles are not that strong, when you pee, stop the flow a few times with just muscle power, soon you'll have a grip like a money wrench (sorry ladies, excuse my metaphor), not to mention less chance of leaks etc, your doctor will tell you this.
H. "
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Reply #4 - 07/19/12  9:55am
" (I meant Monkey wrench) "

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