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sex drive issues. never orgasmed
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Glad to know that I am not the only one here who has a horrible sex life, lack of sex drive, etc. well I'm only 26....... i have never told this to anyone else before at all so now i guess i will tell a bunch of strangers on a support group website. I have NEVER had an orgasam. EVER. sometimes I can go for months with no sexual drive, libido, or what ever you call it.
I am married to a great guy who tries to be supportive of my issues but I can tell that it gets to him sometimes. He has his own worries too; like ed at a very young age. So that adds a lot of "blahness" to the sexual table too. Most of the time its like I can tell there is something going on down there but can't feel anything at all??? like somebody rubed numming lube on me or something. I even have fallen alseep durring it?? I have only ever had sex with one partner, my hubby, and I am the only person he has ever been with. So we are not very "practiced" you can say. But I would think after 5 yrs something would give.
We have tried all kinds of positons and we are limited on them thanks to the pain from chronic ovarian cyst and other health issues. And we can never seem to get on the same page; like when I'm FINALLY enjoying it, he goes "flat" in the middle of it, but most every other time, I'm haveing to fake that I'm even enjoying it, just so he can hurry up and get off me. I'm so scatter brained during sex too. I'm trying and trying to go " ok, be in the mood and pray you feel something, anything" and then.... nothing yet again. UGH SO ANNOYING!! ok so that was really emabarassing. please be nice . Like I said I have never ever shared any of this before. thank you.
Posted on 04/15/12, 11:10 pm
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Reply #1 - 04/18/12  12:23pm
" I don't have any answers for you, but if you husband is able to take "the little blue pill" that may help. Hopefully you will find more satisfaction when he isn't so distracted by trying to stay up.
And, sad to say, because i don't want to exercise, but I think it helps to do stomach exercise and practisce some kegal exercises and tighten vaginal area, Yyou practice by tightening then relaxing those muscles. When you first start, you may need to put your finger on, or slightly in to feel if those muscles are doing what you want. Then you will be able to use these muscles to increase or decrease pressure on your husband. Be careful though, because if you are too tight, you know what happens. "
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Reply #2 - 05/06/12  4:57pm
" Hey don't worry about it, I have always had a really strong sex drive and I didn't orgasm with a partner til I was around your age.

Drive does make it easier to do things like masturbate, which is how nearly everyone learns to orgasm initially. You need to experiment with that, because then you will learn to recognize the sensations that lead up to orgasm, and with practice you will get better at producing those sensations.

I don't know what it's like to have no sex drive at all, but I have found it difficult to get worked up over the same partner over and over again. Sometimes you need a "surrogate" to turn you on -- a fantasy sequence, a fetish, even thinking about someone else if necessary -- something that can get you aroused enough for your body to respond when you fool around with your husband (or with yourself!)

Some women find that they can get very turned on by reading erotica. I think that it's because women are more verbal and men are more visual -- men like to look at pictures and videos, whereas women like descriptions and stories, since with us it's more about the mood. Anyways you can browse erotica in the bookstore and find something you like, and go out and get a vibrator and learn to get yourself off. I recommend "My Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday; it's actually a collection of sexual fantasies from different women. Anais Nin is a classic erotic writer -- very bold for her time! There's a lot more to explore and it's great because buying erotica is no big deal anymore; they have erotic literature sections at Barnes&Noble. "
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Reply #3 - 05/18/12  1:16am
" I TOO AM TWENTY SIX AND HAVE NEVER ACHEIVED AN ORGASM WITH A PARTNER THIS IS WEIRD TO TALK ABOUT BUT I HAD TO LET YOU KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE!!! sorry about those caps lol, first off dont feel bad i have wondered so often what is wrong with me and felt like an incomplete woman a freak, i have really tried and right when i think i can, he is done.....allways!and i cant seem to relax, so no tightness im sure is not the issue, but rather the problem i tense up and focus eles where or on getting him off... its out of body and sorry that this is what connects us i would have liked another way to make a freind but it is what it is and i'm glad to tell you you are not alone! ...though clearly i havent "fixed this prob" i know a really good book that helped me improve sensitivity also awkward but taking time alone in a safe quiet space and having gentle slow um self exploration helped me actually orgasm if you do this then ask him to be really patient and soothing, together you may be able to work through this im getting closer so i know there is hope!!!!!!....oh the book is called the art of sexual extacsy, cant remember the author,and i spelt that wrong,lol some of it is weird but it is full of great stuff too check it out ....if you need someone to talk to im in a very similar headspace ....look up sexual guarding thats what some drs call this "condition" "

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