What is Female Sexual Issues
Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or c...
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How do I get myself interested in sex again?
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A bit of background. I'm 20yrs, my fiance is 24yrs, and we have a 2yr old son. We SHOULD be all young and passionate, spunky, ya know? After I had my son my libido was doing ok, I enjoyed sex although I didn't get it too often cause I had my hands full with the baby. My fiance and i moved in together in the beginning of January.
Ever since then I've been losing interest in sex for over a month at a time, then sometimes I'll be more into it for a couple weeks. (not sure if this has anything to do with the fact that I'm bipolar?) My fiance gets really bummed during these "dry spells," he feels like I'm not attracted to him and I think it really hurts him even though he's good at hiding his emotions. For about a month now, I haven't been wanting sex. It used to be that once we got going (when he got so frustrated that he just took off my clothes and started going) I would enjoy myself, but that usually didn't have me coming back for more if ya know what i mean. The last couple times that I've had lack of interest, when we finally did have sex, I didn't enjoy it at all. It just doesn't feel good anymore. So obviously I haven't cum from sex (and I used to ALWAYS cum from sex!) Since I've had my son we can't do a few positions because it hurts (not from dryness- from him hitting my cervix or me tearing where i had an episiotomy). He always wants me to dominate but I hate doing that, and now I can't be on top cause it hurts too much. I never get things going, partly because I just don't like it when he's submissive, and partly because I don't want to have sex at all now. He also wants me to give him head pretty much every time, but to me that's just wasting energy that I don't even have. But he doesn't go down there on me or even give me hardly any foreplay so I'm never ready for sex. I'm annoyed at my fiance a lot, we fight about a lot of stuff, we don't communicate well and are both stubborn. Maybe that is another thing affecting our sex life, i'm too pissed off at him :P Last night I "gave in" to him again. Afterward, he said he's noticed I haven't seemed to want to have sex at all lately. I just kinda shrugged and said yeah I guess. We changed the subject pretty quick. I got up and got on my computer, and after cleaning up, he rolled over so he faced away from me on the bed. I think he was crying.... It was hard to tell cause there was a movie on and the tv's right next to my compu so I couldn't really hear him. I feel so bad!!! I don't know what to do. I've never had this problem. We have tried a couple different things to spice it up but that only works for maybe 2 times tops. I had kinda got used to not having sex and it wasn't bothering me THAT much, but now it is because I know it really hurts my fiance. I'm actually getting kinda depressed about all this... Part of this is a vent I suppose but if any of you have any advice I would really appreciate it. -Ellen- Posted on 09/13/09, 04:09 pm |
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I know you mentioned that your son is 2 now but it is possible that you may be sufffering from post partum depression. If it was never diagnosed when he was a baby then it could progressivly get worse if not treated.
Are you taking any meds for the bipolar condition you have? Did you start a new birth control after giving birth? Maybe these different medications are making your body react differently and screwing with your hormones. I have a little girl who will be 2 in December. It took me a while to get back into the "sex" thing. In the beggining I just did not want it at all. Things are finally getting better after talking to the hubby and expressing what I need and in order for our sex life to be better we both need to give and recieve in equal amounts. We have started getting more into "playing" with toys and such. Watching erotic movies together as well. This has really made a difference and we have progressed in our sex life ten fold. I suggest trying new hot things in bed to spice it up. It will really get your juices flowing and perhaps you will be able to do all the different positions that once hurt before. Good luck hun. Hey come joing the healthy sex group...you can get some hot tips in there.. lol. 
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Replying to Youngrose:
I was very happy and sexually active up until this point. I was taking Lamictal and it was working great but my medical insurance was cut off so I had to wean myself off of it, hoping to get back on it this week since I got my insurance back. I was on the depo shot until about 6 months ago. I had been on it for 4 years before I got pregnant with my son so I wanted to do something else. Got an IUD but it fell out after a month, then tried the Nuvaring for 3 months, hated it so I switched to the pill. One month later I found out that hormonal birth control messes with my meds so I have given up on BC. I was only on Lamictal for about 2 months tho. Now that I have insurance again I am going to see a doc about this problem and hopefully see a psychiatrist for this and many other reasons.
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I totally feel your pain, I am 32 and have NO sex drive at all. I am suppose to be in my sexual prime they say...and I am married to a guy that is 22 so he is wondering what is going on. I have 3 kids already too... We have been together for 5 years and our sex life WAS good in the first 2 years and then we started argueing alot and the verbal abuse started. I believe that had alot to do with it. If women dont get respect from their men then how are they going to make love to them and be intimate with them and everything? I just cant do it, I have lost all my sex drive and dont want to have sex at all .....he is a VERY handsome guy and very well endowed and any woman would want him but when he touches me all I see is him yelling at me or cussing at me and calling me names. I cant make love to someone who makes me feel so bad 85 % of the time. I dont know if this is your situation or not but this is the way I feel. I will be out somewhere or he will be at work..like now...and I will think that I want him so bad but when he actually gets here my hormones leave me. If u need to talk u can also reach me on facebook....let me know if u want to. Thx
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