Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group

I am an atheist though I went to church growing up (Church of England). So I hope I don't get stuff wrong or offend anyone but I wanted to help since nobody else has replied.

First, can you speak to the priest/vicar/pastor at your local church? It is their job to support their parishioners and guide them back to God if they are having doubts. Also you might ask him/her to pray on your behalf, or add a request for prayers for your dad to the church service.

The hospital may also have a chaplain who will be experienced in dealing with distressed people whose loved ones are suffering and who are having a crisis in their faith because of that.

My personal view is, we should do everything we can to help our loved ones and not leave it to a God or Gods. God won't bring the CEA counts down. What He will do is inspire and strengthen you to help your dad and bear the burden He has given you. My belief is that faith is a means of support, and a link to the community in your local church. Faith will not mean your problems are solved, or that you or loved ones do not suffer, but it will give you support when you struggle and the knowledge you are not alone.

Also, even if you cannot find it in yourself to regain the faith you once had, there is nothing wrong with that. People believe in all kinds of different things or maybe in nothing at all. There is no obligation to believe in any religion, it is purely your choice. From what you say you are a good person, supporting your dad and not only that, but working in medicine and supporting others and saving their lives.

I think the best thing to do is, read up on your dad's condition, speak to his doctors. Make sure he is getting the best care he can get. Support him and care for him and for yourself. PM me if you need support or to vent.

I am so sorry for your anguish. I also question God about why my brother has to deal with cancer. My intention is not to preach to you, but my feelings are that God would never do this to his children. Maybe pray for strength from him to help get you through it. I know I have blamed God also, but was told he is a loving God and not a punishing God.

I am just relating so much. I hate cancer because it is killing my little brother and he doesn't deserve it, but who does?

It's hard.
Kim

I've struggled as well. Recently a friend suggested a book, and I had heard of it, but its the best thing I've read for my spiritual growth. I read and re-read. It's helped me sooo much. When bad things happen to good people.
The author speaks of thoughts he's had, that I've had myself. The childhood God I grew up learning about, wasn't making sense as I became an adult. Looking around at senseless acts, and sickness. How was I to believe in a God that 'allowed' or worse yet, 'made' these tragic things happen?
The book helped me set aside the fearful, punishing God from my childhood. Its not a long book, but its powerful. I could only read a few pages, then have to set it down. Anyone who has a similar struggle with this journey, I hope can find some comfort by reading this book. And if it helps, as it did me, all I ask is you pass it on when another crosses your path with spiritual turmoil. My hope for you is you receive love, strength, courage and comfort . Take care!

The accumulation of events of the last 2 years has made me very ANGRY with God. So angry that I have found myself stomping my feet and yelling!! I lost one friend within 6 months due to cancer, then my best friend found a lump . . . transpired into a double mastectomy. Now my sister is in chemo for a cancerous tunor on her thymic gland. This disease is a horrible thing, and I have issues with God as to why he allows all of the ugliness in this world. No matter how good we try to be, the ugliness gets into your life somehow. Sorry I have no advice for you, and sorry you have to experience these feelings the same as I am. I can only tell you that you are not alone. I damn well don't understand it either.

Thank you all for your replies. I appreciate each and every one of them. Some days are better than others. Today was one of those days that wasn't so good. I'm just so angry. I dont want to be such an angry person. I'm tired of being angry, but I haven't figured out what it is I need to do to bring me peace and understanding. It just isn't fair. I see people who have such a deep relationship with God and I'm envious. I see these people, and I wonder "Why can't I be that close with God?" or "What is it I'm doing wrong?" I feel guilty for doubting my faith, especially at a time like this. I can't help but think that God is punishing me for my mistakes and my doubts.

Donna, thanks for just relating to me--helps me not feel so alone!

Cotawa, I was just reminded that I need to check out that book. Thanks for suggesting it. I'll give it a try.