Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group

From most recent to past:

My 'little sister' has lymphoma and just had her first chemo treatment. She was very unhealthy to start with. She is 5'6 and weighs 95#. Already (3 days post) has mouth sores and pain. I am trying to be positive and supportive but not sure how long I can keep at it.

Last August I got a call from my best friend telling me she found a lump in her breast. I went there that week and we got her in to a great program for women that don't have insurance. They were great. She underwent a double masectomy and has months of chemo. Right now she is in a great deal of pain (some call it Post Chemo rheumatoid arhtritis?). I try to support her and keep telling her its only temporary. But when you know a person is in that much pain it is hard to keep being encouraging. I want to tell her to scream, cry, do whatever it takes to alleviate the pain. I so wish I could absorb some of it for her.

In March of that same year my friend Diane passed away after a six month battle with cancer. We had Thanksgiving dinner at her house in November and by March she was gone. Watching someone dissolve a little each day was horrendous, but I kept visiting daily and tried to support her. She was such a fighter, but lost the battle. I myself have been through alot in life, but watching her die was the most traumatic thing I have ever witnessed or endured.

Back to the present: my sister had to go in for open heart surgery to repair a valve (she just turned 50). After they split her sternum the doctor found cancer, closed her back up and couldn't touch her heart. So she started chemo with a 25% weakness in her heart, sick to begin with . . . and I am so very sad that I am sick at my stomach writing this. I HATE CANCER . . . it is certainly the devils disease. I know, I am not the one suffering through it . . . but suffering at the loss of my friend and watching people that I love suffer through it. Guess I'm just tired today and needed to say that I feel so inadequate around my sister and my friend. They are both fighters and are trying to be so strong.

This has shaken my faith in God. I have been so angry with Him, He could stop all of this. These are adults that are suffering, I cannot even IMAGINE the horror of watching your child suffer like this. He could stop this horror in an instant. I can't understand why He won't.

Just needed to vent today. Tired, feeling so inadequate and just don't know how to keep being so supportive of my freind and my sister. This nightmare with my sister has been devastating. I realize that I have to eat better, get some exercise, rest so that I can stay healthy to help her. Please God, if you won't stop this horrible disease, please keep me strong enough to be there and give me words to say.
Posted on 06/27/12, 08:27 am