Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

Welcome...............................hugs...............................

Welcome and hugs to you crazyenough.

With the diagnosis can come understanding and learning. My wife and I knew something was wrong, but it wasn't until the diagnosis that we were able to start getting tools to deal with the issues the disorder brought up.

If he was just diagnosed, it will take time to find the right mixture of medication. If you can stick it out that long, you may find that things are much better.

Much of what you mentioned can be symptomatic of phases of the disorder (in my experience). With a commitment on both of your parts, love, understanding, hard work, and continual valid and real conversation, things can be so much better than they are today.

Ultimately you have to decide if its worth it. Do you love him enough to work through the next piece of the relationship in the hopes of a better tomorrow? No one will fault you if you choose not too. Its an incredibly hard road to travel, as you will see as you read past postings and peoples journals.

Take care of yourself, and good luck in all that you do :-)

Welcome Crazy...your not alone at all...we are all here to help you in anyway we can....

Thank you ,all of you for the welcome.
I'm just trying to get over the recent crisis ,he commited sucuide in front of me, hung himself in tree.he went to the psyc ward they gave hm some meds and hes already quit taking them, if the police officer hadnt shown up when he did ,He would be dead, I cut him down from the tree,My first husband commited sucide,and I take this very personally, like he tried to punish me.He had been taking yanex,and alot of them.I know thier addictive and he was buying them off the street and gettting them from friends,he has told me he would not take anymore.He doest sleep weell and the meds make him dizzy an drunk.He has an app. this week, I just got him on some insurance,which follow thur for himis a big problem, the doctors dont know what thier doing, they dont care or theres always some excuse
Our Relationship
We seperate about every 6 months, hes abusive ,verbally and phsically.
The negativity he caries is amazing, he flys off the handle at the slighest thing.
We have not been together in the last 6 months,he rented a house and lost his job and asked me to move in with him,he is very convicning that he loves me and wants to be with me.This love I used to have for him is very thin,low almost non excisint.i have been thur so much with him,he just recently has finally admitted that our problems are due to his mental health but always says "but you have issues to."I feel like hes insane,but I know hes vry sick.Im not used to not having a place to live, and living on the streets , going to place to place every 3 months or so,losing what I work hard for.This has been a way of life for him.So , im at a turning point at this tme in my life , I dont want to spend the next ten years like the last ten years.We cant talk to each other without one of us getting upset, yelling ,and getting mad.Hes applied for ssi and we are waiting for a hearing datehe has some pysical aliments as well,so hes finacially dependent on me.I have been taking careof my mother for the last few years ,sinc she dvelpoed some health problems,which has not been easy given the dysfuction of our relationship.I ave been in recovery for 9 years,and my insurance starts in Dec and I plan to go to a counselor or therapist.I read in some of your post about the bottom line or the deal breaker and id like to know more about this.Im open to any adivce in help with this mess.Ive suggested a million things to him to try to help him, without any of it making a differnce, I know I cant change him, hes got to want to get better.I've gotten where I dont even care about alo tof things anymore,I want to be ok and and have a decent life.Thanks

Crazy, I am sure you have both struggled through these last ten years with alot of fluctuating emotions and moods, not knowing what you were dealing with. The difference now is that you have a diagnosis to work with and there is help on the horizon.

What you have to decide is if you are strong enough to carry the weight and see your bf through his struggles while he gets proper treatment. Only you can decide that.

Key to any relationship is taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Making sure that your life is on the right track and you are doing all you can to be the best that you can be. I have seen far too many people "give up" their lives for the life of their spouse. That is not necessary to have a good relationship but rather very damaging to the relationship.

It is possible to care for your bf, love him, support him, while leading a healthy life yourself. The most important boundary will be that you will not tolerate his not seeking proper treatment for his disorder. As long as he is working at it and trying to be the best he can be, you can then decide if that is enough for you to stay in the relationship and you are strong enough to deal with it.

This is a very delicate and difficult disorder. There is much work to be done if we hope to survive it, let alone have a healthy relationship with someone else. Many BP sufferers live alone for that very reason. It is difficult enough to live with ourselves and a relationship places a great deal of guilt on us. I believe that is why many BP sufferers run from their relationships and throw themselves into "shallow" ones. The same guilt does not exist.

I would suggest that you research and read all you can about this disorder and how it affects your bf. Try to understand what he is going through and the long road ahead that he has to learn to manage it.

Docs do care, therapists care, if you find good ones. This disorder is very difficult to treat and some of us are med resistent, meaning that most if not all meds just dont work for us. It takes a great deal of therapy and understanding ourselves and our disorder, its triggers, its manifested behaviors, to live with it.

I wont lie, it might be years before your bf finds any kind of stability if he finds it at all. He has to want it, he has to work for it, but there are not guarantees. What you have to do is take care of you and learn how you can best support him by communicating very openly and regularly with him. It only works if you are both working idligently at it and again there are NO guarantees.

We all just do the best we can and hope and pray that things find balance in our lives. xo

QUITE NEW TO THIS SITE BUT REALLY FINDING IT HELPFUL.MY BIPOLAR MAN WHOM I KNOW SINCE TWO YEARS IS JUST RECOVERING FROM LOW EPISODE..NOT CONTACTED ME FOR ONE MONTH..A VERY LOVING AND PASSIONATE MAN.BUT AFTER THIS LOW EPISODE I FOUND HIM TOTALLY A CHANGED MAN .NOW HE WNTS TO END OUR RELATIONSHIP AS HE THINKS HIS BIPOLAR WILL RUIN MY LIFE.HRE I WOULD LIKE TO MKE IT VERY CLEAR THT I HAVE ACCEPTED HIM AS BIPOLAR N THE AGE DIFFERENCE..I M 40 N HE IS 53..HE HAS MAILED ME..N SUMTIMES TLK ONLINE..HE IS A VERY SWEET N NICE MAN..HE IS IN RECOVERING STAGE N I CANNOT LEAVE HIM LIKE THIS.PLZ HEP ME HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS N HOW TO HELP HIM..I CN NEVER LEAVE HIM SO PLZ DNT ADVICE TO LEAVE HIM..THIS SEMS TO BE UIET POSITIVE POST SO I CHOSE TO BE HERE..HELP ME.. "

Thanks everyone for replying back to me,
We went to the doctor and they decided to take him as a patient.he ill go back to get on some Meds Dec 4th.Im moving in wth im at the end of this month, he has agreed to take the meds, d like to find a group around this area for both of us.Th therapists at the clinic told him that pot smoking interfers wth the meds.So , its one dayat a time, easy does it etc.I'm so glad I found this group an have sent him an invite o join.Thanks everyone.

I'm assuming he has yet to go on the proper meds, they may well improve things dramatically. Before I was put on a mood stabilizer medication for depression made me dizzy and anxious also.

Yes his doctoer app isnt until Dec 4th,hes ding ok right now,(to me)????? Andyes thats whatIm hoping for,al hetimes they have given him meds before hehas dizzy spells and side affects.He hs trouble sleeping,I want to introduce him to this group so hell know hes not alone,and can talk to people that go thur the same things, What do you think?
Also would like to find a suporrt group in this area to go to,more my ideal then his.I releiase its baby steps.

well obviously not this group...he'd have to be a pretty thick skinned bipolar to be in this group. But the Bipolar one, yes.