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Gawd.........................
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so after working my fifth day in row (12 hour) and I worked all night trying to get some x0tra money to catch up he decided I have to take him to get pot and i say no and he says well i am going to have a terrible episode so i take him and i am totally hysterical over reving the car and all the time he is telling my what a piece of shit i am and how i need help and i am sick and i am telling him to leave me alone i stop the car and tell him to get out which he dosent and he will walk away and he is better than me and i start hitting myself in the head and he just keeps on and on and on adnon and on andon.................................and he is still calling me names and i am having a really bad day and i have to work 12 houors tonight too, i hope he lets me sleep some...........................CRAP...............................................................since he took the door off the xtra bedroom and burnt it i guess i will just put the wardrobe in front of the door and try to get some sleep.....................sorry just rambling on and on and just so frustrated that i hit myself over this and on and on and on...............i am just so tired and not wanting to feel all horrible like this.......................sorry..............................thanks.............................
Posted on 11/07/09, 01:11 pm |
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ok calmed down a bit.................just feeling so stupid and guilty and like i should be strong enough to always do the right thing and i am just not..........................going to get some sleep now................... 
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I am sooo sorry grant. You have taken on a very heavy burden. Take care of yourself as much as you can.
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I am so sorry Grant, we have all been there...just take a breath and know your not alone...we all have our weak moments when it comes to those we love....just try and get some sleep...your in my prayers....sweet dreams
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thanks so he has decided he needs to buy a bed (for me)down the street at a garage sale so he is having one, like people all around the house and the dogs barking i am only working two nights to make some extra money oh wel guell i will try to get some sleep only thing i am worrid about.............lol...............is he has the lawn mower out there and i need it i asked him to please not sell it as i need it for weeds, but oh well guess i should just not care and go to bed............i am not sure why but i am sorry for all this and being such a whiner feeling kinda weak today i guess.........................................
oh he just let the pit bull get out, i hear him yelling for him................
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things calmed down a bit, should not be working nights upsets everything, just trying to catch up a bit or maybe it isn't me.....................sometimes hard to tell, can I trigger episodes or is this basically bull? not sure at the moment when I hae a bad day like today...................
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