Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

As a bipolar I can say that while hypersexuality is common in unmedicated bipolars the drugs used to control bipolar often kill libido.

It's part of the Faustian pact when we take meds. If libido is generally low then a psychiatrist might be willing to do something..however all to often they regards this as acceptable collateral damage.

But i think it causes a vicious cycle....It hurts the relationship (sometimes causeing it to end) and thus causeing more depression and low self esteem and anger. Am i wrong about this?

hi, possibly yes,but one can you do? It's something you have to work out in the realtionship.

If they have low libido are you saying they get depressed (bear in mind depression can cause low libido) and anger..or you are becoming depressed and angry?

If someones libido goes to zero is that a reason to end the relationship? I don't think so. I've had it the other way around, my "normal" partners after having children, sickness, menopause etc had low libidos. I accept that women's libido like stocks and shares can go up as well as down. I didn't perhaps understand it when I got married in my 20s but by my 30s I understood that.

No, it doesn't help the relationship but it's not their fault and so I stayed with them. No cheating on my part (hey, wow, a bipolar that doesn't cheat!!)

Part of me hears what your saying is right but the rejected feeling on top of everything else i feel...hard to bare

I think every relationship goes through that from time to time, regardless of whether or not bp is involved...

I personally like sex as much as anyone...but what I crave most is affection...I'm cool with snuggling and contact doesn't have to be sexual just affectionate...the thing is when you are dealing with someone who has low libido, ED, or any other sexual issue they can feel that pressure to perform issue when they don't feel(oh please pardon the pun)up to it...they feel as if they are letting their partner down and so often withdraw affection as well...

I know that you feel rejected but believe me it isn't you...when a man is ready he is ready and if he has a willing loving woman there when he is ready he isn't gonna reject her because her toenails are to long or her hair is a mess or her butt is a little big...it might be that he feels pressured to perform and so is withdrawing so that he won't feel that pressure and shame that he isn't feeling it...try a s l o w increase in affection...little things that show him you like affection and attention that doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, like snuggling on the couch watching a movie together...taking the pressure off might also help his libido a bit as well because stress of any kind does a number on libido too.

It does suck especially after dealing with all the everyday crap and all you want is some affection from your SO and they can't or don't want to give it to you.

I understand the lack of love you feel, for me it is more about feeling loved then the sex anymore...I have gotten (sad to say) use to not having sex. But for all the sacrfices you put up for the BP person and all you want is love shown, it gets very tiresome to deal with day in and day out.

Granted the medication doesn't help matters in that regard at all.

maybe i could get used to it easier if there was affection in general (without sex) but as you all know there isn't...at least not here.

after all the crap I have went through with my BP husband this is the worst the no sex part, last night he tells me he is not my sex slave
WTF how much more can one person deal with his doctor has finally switched his meds to cymbalta and lamicatal he was on effexor, out of everything this was the area where there was no problem
dont know how much more one person can deal with should I find a male friend or just end this horrible marriage, really at a breaking point he is unconcerned about his weight his hygeine... I need help staying for the kids 9 and 11 isnt enough anymore
HELP

If he is not concerned with his weight or hygiene then obviously the meds are not working.

As per my first reply, many psychiatrists tend to regard libido loss/sexual dysfunction as acceptable collateral damage.

Luckily some don't have that view but your partners would need to insist this is a major problem and to think again.

In the specific you mention I think that lamictal would possibly not be behind this. Personally I found all antidepressants I tried (I've been on about 10) have caused sexual issues.

I know how you feel...if i even go in for a nice kiss his eyebrow goes up as if to say "it's not happening" I have decided i am so frustrated i am not even gonna try for ANY type affection because it becomes more trouble than the VERY little i get is worth.