What is Family Issues
A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading other members to accomm...
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Problems with in-laws?
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There is a lot of background behind the issues I am experiencing with my sisters-in-law right now.
To make a long story short, it all "fell apart" when one of them took it upon herself to treat my child badly in order to "spite me." Later apologizing for it so that she could brag to me about something ridiculous only to turn around and do the same thing again. I have tried my best to overlook it and try to be civil, but it just isn't working. My husband tells me not to worry because everyone knows how she is (she is his sister-in-law, married to his brother). I can't seem to not worry about it because she and my other sister-in-law seem to always make it a point that something they say is about me. I am so fed up with it. At first I thought it was a bit of a paranoia on my behalf... they will leave one another comments on MySpace (yes, I know this sounds childish) that are blatantly about me, then turn around and say they "don't talk about anyone." I am so tired of dealing with these high school antics. It is driving me nuts. I feel like no matter how hard I try, it is never enough. They are always making snide comments about how bad of a person I am, how "fake" I am, how I'm such a "liar," etc. It makes me feel insane because I am not the one who does such things! They are continously lying to me, talking behind my back, treating me badly when all I have done is try my hardest to be good to them, to feel like I'm actually a part of my husband's family. When I am around these women, they are both older than I, they intentionally leave me out of things, and go off to themselves together... I feel as though I'm in primary school. I do not know if this is a jealousy issue or what, but I am so frustrated right now that I need advice/words of wisdom/anything! I keep trying and trying and trying, and I'm wondering if I should just give it up? Posted on 10/13/09, 07:10 pm |
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Just back away from them, you probably will not win no matter what you say or do.
Just tell your husband that they obviously have a problem with you and you cannot keep trying to understand their behaviour! If you are confronted by any of them , just say the same, that you feel uncomfortable and and not liked. Put it all back on them and you just keep away from them. they will either be sorry for what they have done, and say so, or they will not care, either way you are better off. Big hugz Juney 
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Be the bigger person. I think they know that it bothers you so they continue to do it and act even more childish in doing so. Unfortunately though I think that is the way of life. I don't believe every in laws get along. We can all only hope that we do. I would be the bigger person and don't bring yourself DOWN to their level because let's face it. They sure as hell don't act older than you.
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My mother in law used to say nasty things about me that really hurt, she told lies as well. I tried hard to get on her good side but it didnt work. I could have been Princess Diana and she would not have liked me.
I learned to back off, stay away from her as much as possible, and only then did it get better. I suggest you stop trying to fit in with these two juveniles, be polite if you encounter them, but do not associate with them anymore than you absolutely have to. The harder you try to get along, the more they will continue to act like kids. Take away their fun (meaning you) and they will stop or at least slow down, as they wont be getting a reaction from you. That's what they want, a reaction. Dont give it to them. You will not win, so make it easy on yourself and avoid them at all costs.
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I would guess that, although there are more mature ways to go about it, these women dont have a connection with you, so they are trying to make you uncomfortable so that they dont have to include you. Give them what they want and you will end up getting what you want. Good luck
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I understand exactly what you are going though. some in laws are even violent, my mother in law is a violent women she even throw a knife to me when nobody is looking. I told my husband about it but he take the side of his mother, he is a mama's boy. She is a psyco. my mother in law is and my sister in law like to talk with my mother in law behind my back and if they whisper they make sure i hear it.
I avoided to be around with them even Christmas and Holidays I stay by myself in the house. It hurt so much but you need to protect your self from these evil people. They are such a spoil brat. I believe that when a person is a spoil brat when they were a child they will remain spoil brat when there adult or even when they old and wringklely. My advise is pray for there behavior not to affect you anymore. I pray to God that someday they will pay for it. And trust me they are paying for it. God will not allow this to go on for such a long time. He will strike them badly. I believe that your in laws are very insecure and they are trying to protect themselves by bullying you, just like grammar school.
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I agree with Maybellene when she says don't react to their juvenile behaviour. They're having a laugh and enjoy watching your reaction to their meanness.
But if you don't react they'll have nothing to entertain them. So be strong, keep your distance from them and don't show them how hurt you are. Good luck
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