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The title "Grandpa"
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Do you think giving one the title grandpa though they are not related by blood is alright? Here is my concern...My mom moved in with her boyfriend about 1 year ago and shortly after the topic of marriage came up, ok great. a few months after that Mom asked my kids to call her Boyfriend Grandpa Sam, instead of just his name. In my family people use titles in respect, i.e. older cousins are referred to as Aunt or Uncle and as a kid I called my grandma's husband Grandpa joe though he was not really my grandpa. I asked my hubby if his dad would be hurt by this and he said no he did not think so. WRONG, I now find out(about 9 months later) his dad is hurt by this because Sam is not their Grandpa. If my mom got married to him that would be different but just because she is sleeping with him does not mean they should call him grandpa. Now according to my Hubby I cannot say or do anything because this was told to him in confidence. I now feel horrible, because no matter what I do someone will be hurt. I can see both points of view but i'm stuck between a rock and a hard spot and there is nothing i can do. What is your opinion? Thanks for reading!
Posted on 12/03/12, 05:51 pm
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Reply #11 - 12/15/12  10:23pm
" I don't understand why the "real" grandfather is so upset. It is just a title. It does not affect his relationship with your child. I really don't think it is his business. It should be up to you and your husband what you are comfortable with. If it was me, I would play dumb and hope he got over it. And for all you know, Your mother might marry this man someday. Such a silly thing really, a title. Its the relationship that counts! "
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Reply #12 - 12/15/12  11:09pm
" Just because 2 people have the same blood running through their bodys that does not make them family. Family is people you have a relationship with that love and care about you. "
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Reply #13 - 12/16/12  9:34pm
" Well said!! "
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Reply #14 - 12/20/12  2:22am
" I'd say " no thanks the kids can call him Sam. If they stay together long term ,maybe then he can grandpa "
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Reply #15 - 12/20/12  8:43am
" I don't see how it is your FIL's business. Your kids calling their grandmothers bf grandpa sam does not affect their other grandfather in any way.

Sorry but it's time for him to get over it and get on with life. "
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Reply #16 - 12/26/12  8:04am
" First of all...(IMHO)..."NO ONE", should be telling//asking//suggesting//insisting//requesting//ordering the kids to call anyone anything. 'I' happen to believe it is wrong. Leave the kids alone, do not influence them, and allow 'the kids' to do whatever comes naturally to them. However...I also feel it to be just a bit too petty to be jealous of how the kids may or may not choose to address someone. It really shouldn't have become an 'issue'. Sounds like someone also may be a bit insecure over 'titles'. "
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Reply #17 - 12/26/12  8:59am
" I think the kids should be allowed to call Sam whatever they feel comfortable with. Your husband should tell his mother that she is to not influence them. He should have the same conversation with his father. That being said, this is hubby's family. Your husband should deal with this NOT you. It could very well blow up in your face...I believe people should deal with their parents and let their spouse deal with theirs. This doesn't mean you and hubby don't have a talk about how to handle it, but ultimately hubby needs to step up and deal with it. Your opinion should be the concern for your children. Just my thoughts. Hope hubby deals with it and some stress is alievated. "

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