What is Family Issues
A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading other members to accomm...
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Hello. I'm looking for some advice, tips, and thoughts on this. I've recently got engaged to my fiancee and I'm having issues with his younger brother. I've met my share of assholes in my day and he is by far the biggest one I've met and he knows he's one. Well last night at the dinner table he was making fun of different races and adoption. Well long story short he called them names, you can fill in the blank and said our kids (mine and fiancee) will be brats. The adoption bothers me because my fiancee and I wanted to adopt from China when we got older. Its something I've always wanted to do so you can see where he crossed the line and made me mad and sad all at the sametime. Well, after dinner I started crying and said he is pulled from the wedding and will not be walking.
My fiancee ended up talking to him today about it and said that he should say sorry for what he did. This is his response. "I was only joking around so there for I don't have to say sorry". Please give me your thoughts on this. I'm at a stand of NO. My fiancee says that if he comes around, says sorry, and starts acting better he can walk. I don't see that happening. Lets say if it does though, then what should my stand be? I'm still at NO. I'm pissed, hurt, and sad. It takes a lot to make me mad and he really crossed my line. My fiancee says he's got my back, but I'm still pretty upset. Also, do take in a note he's a marine and he's 20 years old. At this point, he's one marine I have no respect for. Thoughts, Advice, and Ideas would be very helpful. Thanks hurtgirlfriend Posted on 11/03/09, 04:11 pm |
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Wow. Sounds like this guy has some growing up to do. It's OK that you were offended. And, it's OK for you to feel the way you do. How soon is the wedding? I'm guessing you've got months of planning ahead of you if you plan to have a "wedding" in the traditional way. If that's the case, try not to worry about it right now as far as if he's going to be involved in the wedding. Give yourself some time to think and calm down. You don't want to put bad blood between you and your future in-laws, and taking time to think about things and calm down makes a HUGE difference.
As far as him giving an apology, it would be the right thing for him to do. But if this guy is that big of a jerk, sometimes there's nothing you can do. Perhaps, in time, he will mature and see what that what he said was hurtful. But then again, he might not. *hugs* 
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