What is Families of Prisoners
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. A prison, penitentiary, or correctional facility is a place in which individuals are physically confined...
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how do u do it the second time around???
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my fiancee is in trouble agian..he just did 2 yrs about a year ago..the letters,calls &$ every week i feel were all for nothing..not to mention being alone...i dont know how im going to deal with this..he keeps saying we'll make it threw this..im not sure..i love him with all my heart but God i am 41 already i feel im missing out on my life because he keeps getting in trouble..im supposed 2 see him this weekend b4 he goes but keep saying goodbye is getting the best of me..i cant concentrate at work my grades are starting to get affected at school..at this point he has three po's and every week its a toss up on whether or not hes going to jail..what a roller coaster..he goes from talking about running away to facing everything and getting it behind him in these increasingly drunken late night states..i just dont know..i know its hard on him but seems to me its harder on me..i dont even know if hes learnt anything from this hes still driving and getting in more and more trouble as he comes up on these court dates..ahhhh..depressing..dont know what i should do..??
Posted on 11/03/09, 12:11 pm |
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I am so sorry that this is happening in your life.
If you love him then it does make it rough on you when he does that just makes yours and his life rougher. Keep coming here you will find lots of great friends to help you thru this! Always willing to listen and try to give you a boost in the right direction doing what is necessary for you to have a more peaceful day.....good good friends here! Try to keep busy and try not to dwell on this....for we survive many things in this life we never thought we were strong enough to do. Over the last three years I have done things I never imagined myself possible to overcome and live thru. Any time you need to talk or vent or journal....this is the place for all of that! Love and prayers! Love Rhea 
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thanks,Rhea..im just getting home from school and hes called several times ranting about something like ''hes mad at the world''..so fustrating i dont even know what to say..im utterly exhausted..i did feel better joining this group and getting this off my chest..i really dont know whats going to happen??but iam thankful for ur prayers.
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Before sentencing my bf spent weeks sitting in his place with the bottle of Vodka crying "poor me" into it. He was scared, petrified, kept talking about how he should just not wait anymore and just go in and start serving his time now, since he lost so much already (money, job, friends). It wasn't his 1st time either, and I think the hardest part for him was taking responsibility for what happened. That happened while he was serving. I have made a packed with him, I'll stick around and wait for him, and carry the financial, and the emotional burden of him going away but if this repeats itself I would have to move on, no matter how hard it would be. Of course we only knew each other 4 months before he went away, hard to tell how it would be different if we were already in a long term relationship. I believe in boundries, but it is not for everyone. Do what you feel is right, but know that right now he is going through the most emotional and devastating time (even if it is his own doing).
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This is also my second time. Embarrassed to say but 10 years ago, my husband was sentenced to 9 months. I had a miscarriage during that time and was devestated that I lost my baby and my husband. My husband promissed and stayed out of trouble all this time. I will say he did a dumb and stupid thing but if we want God to forgive, we must forgive. I am not telling what to do, but I am learning to do what is best for me and my daughter. I won't force myself to feel anything. Try to take it one day at a time and ask God for your answer as each person's situation is truly unique. I won't kick my husband when he is down, but I won't allow him to bring me down there with him. Meaning, I can do this on a day by day basis and can't guarantee tomorrow. I do truly love my husband but I also love me and my daughter more. Right now, I am feeling a host of emotions as this is the beginning for me and not knowing makes me sad, angry, hurt etc. Trust and God and you won't go wrong. Good luck
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This is my second time around too. The first time was for 13mos,and after he got out we married and i thought he learned his lesson and life would go on normal, well he relapsed and here we are again this time 5 years. For me it is harder this time because of being married and putting my dreams for our life on hold. And knowing that the next 5 years our anniversaries are going to be apart. I try to remember that he didn't do it on purpose and i truly saw some differences in him after it happened.
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thank u all for the replies..i see im not the only one doing this second time thing..i just really dont know if i have it in me to go threw this agian..the hardest part is im out here living where he should be if he stopped doing stupid stuff..he really needs 2 grow up..also he wants us to get married b4 he goes..dunno about this one ..all i know is after 5 yrs 2gether i still get butterflies when im with him..i wish my heart andhead were in sync.
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by responding to it differently than the first.
We all make mistakes however, I told my family if we want different results, we have to be DIFFERENT people. Which basically means we have to behave differently. Remember the definition of insanity: "Insanity is doing things the same way and expecting a different result." Take care of you, make the best decision for YOU! Focus on school on improving yourself. Praying that you'll have the wisdom and strength to do what's best for you. Blessings, PM
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Gosh prodigals sounds like my husband. No offence that is truely good advise and I agree. My husband takes responcibility for what he did, He tryed not to but after showing and explaining he figuared it out. And I would not be around for him if he didn't that is the first step. my husband has turned this into a learnung experance and is made alot of improvement in himself during his incarseration so I have high hopes that he has learned this time. Hes doing this different this time and I can see that.
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