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Discussion:
is he cheating?
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I'm not sure who to talk to about this. I could be totally off base here, but I think Jason is calling other women, or at least one other. He has changed recently. I think he fits at least of few of the things on this site:
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproble...

I do not know where to start, so this may not be in order.

He told me he is on contract in treatment (which is like a probationary period where if he messes up he will be terminated). He said as part of the contract he is not allowed to call me more than 3 or 4 times a day. I asked him one day to call me back and he said he couldn't because he would get terminated. But there have been days where HE wants to call me back and then he says it is fine and he will not get in trouble.

There have been inconsistencies in his stories. I cannot think of anything specific but I know he will tell me one story and then a few days later the story will change.

This part is a little about sex so if you need to, skip it. He can and has been masturbating while in prison. He says it is to fantasies about me. Lately there have been two time where he couldn't cum and one time where he could not even get hard. It makes me feel like he is not sexually attracted to me anymore.

Whenever Jason and I fight he says we are getting a divorce and that he hates me. Lately is seems like he picks fights.

He has been giving me a lot of gifts lately. Seems weird because the holidays and my birthday are coming up so close. Plus we just had our two year anniversary of meeting. So gifts out the blue not on those events seem weird when there are so many opportunities to give gifts.

He constantly puts Andy down for what Andy did to you and says he would never do that to me. The few times I have asked him if he calls other women he gets mad at me and then somewhat accuses me of cheating. Then he feels bad and depressed and says he is a bad husband for not showing me better. It makes me feel like he is changing the subject.

Jason use to ask me to do things but now asks other people like his mom. I know I have been sick and not able to do as much, but I have been trying and he promised not to ask others for anything. It makes me feel like he doesn't need me.

Jason has a history of cheating on his previous girlfriends. The first time he was in prison he had two or three "girlfriends" that did not know about the others. He also talked to several other girls. His plan was to stay with the girl that lasted the longest.

I'm just not sure what to think. It scares me so bad. It just feels like something it not right.
Posted on 11/29/08, 02:11 pm
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Reply #1 - 11/29/08  3:02pm
" also, recently someone sent me in the mail a printout from a website. It was a prison pen pal website. Jason was on it and it said he was looking for women. "
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Reply #2 - 11/29/08  10:46pm
" You could write him but use someone else's address, etc. and see how he responds. "
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Reply #3 - 11/30/08  2:45pm
" Thats a tough one! I agree maybe try to fool him and get a PO Box or use a friends or work address to see if he responds. That is seriously shady that his name is on a pen pal webiste tryin to hook up. Behavior in prison is so hard to predict or try to pattern so many things can be affecting him. I hope you get this figured out and can know the truth. HUGS!! "
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Reply #4 - 11/30/08  4:03pm
" I'm sorry but to be deceptive and write him under a false name and address is just not right. If you feel this is a step you need to take, I suggest not stooping to the level of basically lying to get answers. Just ask him. Point blank. I think lying will not turn up anything good for you. If you found out he isn't doing anything wrong you'd feel bad for doubting him and stooping to that level. If you find out he is doing wrong, he'll know you were lying to him when you bring it to his attention. Simply say to him you found his name on a penpal website and you feel like things are changing. It could just be the holidays.. The sex thing, not that big of a deal. I've read here that the guys locked up tend to have issues with getting hard. No big deal in the big picture. At any rate, I would strongly suggest against lying to get answers. I hope you are able to ask him up front about it, and him be honest with you, but in the end if you take the honest road you will always have your pride. "
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Reply #5 - 11/30/08  7:05pm
" Jody has a good point there.

Could be lots of reasons why on all of this. He could be trying to involve his mother so that his mom doesn't feel he doesn't need or want her. The so called looking for women...which maybe...but why...could be for other reasons...maybe he feels he needs ti understand women better toi understand a particular one. Also, you mention you have been sick..he could be trying to help allleviate some work or stress from off your plate.
See? Ask? Could be and could not, for whole different reasons too.
Plus being sick sometimes we don't read the messages people send us right because we aren't our usual selves.
Don't jump to conclusions. He married you, not any one else. This time is different than past. So don't hang him out to dry before you know what you are fighting.

Love Rhea "
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Reply #6 - 11/30/08  7:07pm
" Quit shredding your heart untill you know!

Lots of love! Rhea "
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Reply #7 - 11/30/08  7:26pm
" MY SUGGESTION WAS FROM AN INMATE WHO SAYS IT'S
TRIED AND TRUE. "
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Reply #8 - 12/01/08  2:11pm
" Wow...I don't know what to say. I agree with the girls. Be upfront & honest. Tell him about the website & him being on it. Ask questions, before you answer them yourself, give him the benifit of the doubt. As for the sex thing...I have read, and heard that it is common for men not to be able to perform, they are with other men 24/7 and the chance of getting caught in the act, ect...Im sorry for what you are going through. Hopefully you will get your answers from him. "
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Reply #9 - 12/03/08  11:18am
" dont feel alone my man started calling another women mad me mad as hell "
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