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brother going to prison soon.
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I had a friend give me this website to check out. My 40 year old brother has been in two county jails for the past 4 months. He is still in and is awaiting prison. He will be getting process papers soon and going for evaluation to decide where he will be placed. My brother and I have always been extremely close and this is all just killing me inside. If I find myself being happy about something my mind instantly goes to him and I am depressed again. He has always been an alcoholic and drug user but was always good about keeping it under control until this past summer. He started snorting bath salts and turned him into a monster. He has tried suicide a few times, been in and out of hospital for that and in and of jail for things. He lost his wife ( who also dabbles in drugs) and a great paying job. I am so scared for him. I think its because I dont know what to expect when he does go to prison. Will he be safe, will someone try to hurt him or do hurt him? I watch to many movies and always think the worst. He now knows he did wrong and has excepted that he has to go to prison. He just wants to get it over with. He will only be serving 1 1/2 years with time served in jail. Someone please tell me he will be ok when he goes!!! He is a very kind hearted human being and would give the shirt off his back to someone in need. He just stumbled down the wrong road in life and needs help.
Posted on 01/25/12, 04:34 pm |
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Your in the right place iam sorry to hear that you are going though this.
Prison is not as bad as what the movies show it is aske him what its like just be warned he might not like to talk about it. Everyone in there dos there time there own way. Keep in touch with him as much as you can and tell him whats going on in the real world. Come on hear if you need anything we all get what your going though and we will support you as much as we can. Hugggss and luck 
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Just heard from him today saying he will be going to joliet correction center for processing on Thursday. My heart is broke. Why do I have the feeling that I will never see or hear from him again? I tried to control the tears today while talking to him but when he asked me to help him write a prayer I lost it. I love him so much. I feel bad for not being able to go see him before he leaves. I live close to 400 miles from where he is now and there is no way i can get down there before he goes. Maybe its best that i dont see him. Its going to be the longest 30 days of my life. I told him to let me know asap where he will be transferred to. hopefully close to where i can visit him.
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Cry when you need to it helps.
Yes 30 days can be a long time but try look at this way its 30 days less 30 days closer to him comeing home. You havent lost him and you will see him again i do know how your felling i felt the same way when my man went in. Try and find info on this center that his getting sent too. Try and find out if you can wittie and at least have phone calls whill his there. Be ready for the fact that they dont normally send the guys closer to there loved ones they love makeing life hard for us too! My guy is over a 4 hr drive away from me. Huggggsss and strangth
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Hi rylandcla. Im so sorry you and your brother is going through this. I know he will need you more then he ever has before. So be strong and do remember you do have a life to live and its ok for you to be happy. He will be ok and he will learn to live by the rules or prison. Most older guys do well in prison. They just want to do their time and go home. Tell him to try to get into some drug classes and maybe he will get to go home sooner. He might even be able to get into some work groups that will help him get 2 for 1 day or more. Staying out of fights and away from prison drugs etc. will also help him get out sooner or at lest get out on her due date. Who wants added time right? He will be fine. Look at it this way. This may be the very thing that might be saving his life. If they think he will harm himself they will make sure that will not happen. Trust me I know. My son has been through it all. They learn real fast its not a good idea to try crap like that. They love there guys there and want them to have a happy stay. Each one is a $ sign to them. There not no good if there not there. Stay strong and we are here for you. Come on over and cry and we will cry with you. We know what your going through and it is and up and down roller coaster, But there is an end to this dizzy ride and I for one can't wait to get off.
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i hope everything goes well for you and as nyte starr said it could in the long run be a positive experiance such as cousres/education and treatment programs, my mate for the 1st time says him going back inside this time is prob the best thing to happen to him as he can now sart to see whats going wrong in his life and as easy as it sounds(i know its not tho) you do have to try and carry on your life with some semblance of normality or you'll end up worse and wont be of help to your brother. trust me its hard and i know im lucky compared to some people here my best mate inside til oct prob and its 300 mile, round trip to see him but i try to stay together coz i know in my heart it hwelps him and i hope you can find the strength to deal with things
i hope you can see what inm trying to say as it hasnt come out very well
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Aww, sorry about this regarding your brother. Sounds like his prison term will be shorter than my brother's....his is 16 years. It's so surreal when I begin to think about it, but as Suchaslife says, "Cry when you need to", because it does in fact help. Your brother will be okay - just be there and love on him because there's nothing greater than that.
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My brother was just sentenced to at least 5 yrs in prison and I'm also having a very hard time with it. You sould like you suffer from a sort of "survivor guilt" like I do. I even feel guilty about sleeping in my nice comfortable bed, knowing he's not as comfortable as I am. I feel guilty when I'm outside on a nice day and I realize he's stuck in his cell. I hope that you feel better about the situation eventually. Time does heal everything. Do what I do, and write when you can. I haven't been able to bring myself to visit him yet. I don't want to until I know I can see him and not blubber and cry the whole time. That won't help him. I have to go when I know I can make him feel better, not worse. I'm glad I found this site because it's nice to talk with others who know exactly what you're going through. I keep a lot inside because I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Best of luck to you. :)
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