Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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deleted_user 09/06/2013

My husband is in jail awaiting trial for crimes he committed after a fight we had when I was drunk, very drunk. I pushed it to the limit and he snapped. He is accused of very serious crimes and is facing life in prison. I can not live with the guilt. He has been in jail since Feb. and there are days when I pick up a fifth of vodka just to try and kill the pain. I miss him so much; we talk daily and I visit him but the thought of never holding him again makes me want to end it all. I pray for peace within myself but the guilt is overwhelming. He is taking responsibility for his actions and so am I but how do you get over the fact you had a hand in putting your husband of 14 years in jail?

ihatewisconsin 09/06/2013

That's a tough one. Sure you can say he is responsible for his own actions, but we all know that sometimes we don't act responsibly. As far as your part, you need to get past it somehow. There is nothing you can do about it. I would say to get a good therapist. See what they have to say. Definitely you won't be able to get rid of all the guilt, but maybe that therapist can help you deal with it.

Are you both talking to each other now?? If he isn't blaming you, then maybe you have to let up on yourself. Even if he does blame you to some extent, it was a split second in time. It is unfortunate, but there is no way of changing it now. So somehow you can hope and pray that it doesn't turn out as bad as you think it will.

There isn't one of us who has not acted irrationally on some occasion. It is human nature.

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