Families of Prisoners Support Group

Oh iam so sorry he reacted that way.
Give him a bit of time hopefully he will call you back. Send him a letter about how much it hurt you with what he said and explan to him that it wasnt your falt that this happened.
Iam so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I hope that he didnt mean the hurtful words he said.You are going through alot and this didnt help anything.I hope he is able to calm down and write a posative letter to you,miscarriages are rough and painful so I hope you know its not your fault....

I think it was just shock, why he did that. I hope so. Sometimes we don't know how we are going to react to things. If it wasn't, then shame on him. Yes, you need to write to him telling him how much he hurt you, and why you were scared to tell him. Not to move on, but because his court date is soon, and you didn't want this to weigh on him when court already is such a scary thing. You need to tell him you have been so torn up with grief, both for losing the baby, and for not knowing HOW to tell him, or how he would react, that you were trying to spare him this until after court, but you never ever expected him to react so damn harsh. OMG you have went through hell. Let him know that too.

And the horrible men in those prisons put that b s in their heads. Yes there are some women who abandon their men, or cheat on them. I know of one that did. But a heck of alot of us stand by them no matter what they did, no matter how they act towards us while in there. We go through depression, lonelieness, shunned by friends and peers, we go through financial devastation because of the loss of their income, or we lose our jobs because we are so depressed, or other reasons.

The idiot in prison love to make a vulnerable guy cringe, and think the worst of his woman. Probably to wear them down, and get to them in any sick way they can. It works on the toughest guy sometimes.

My guy finally does not ever accuse me of wanting to cheat, or anything. We have went through this hell FOUR times, and I am still here.

There are nice guys in prison but there are alot of rotten ones who play with these guys heads. Intimidation. So yea, they talk, he listened, this happened, it fell into place. But I think in his room, in the dark, he will cry, he will mourn, and he will really feel like crap that he talked to you like that. He better call soon and apologize as if he is down on his knees. These men don't get what we go through for them.

Im so sorry :( I hope he apologizes to you in his next call or letter for that. You are going through alot. Prayers girl.

Hugs to you!! I think that ihatewisconsin is right and it was shock. It is still hurtful, no matter what his reason is. I hope he went and thought about the hurtful things he said and apologizes for it. You are already dealing with too much to hear that too. I hope things get better and you can get through this tough time.

I also think it was some kind of defense mechanism, that maybe he blames himself for not being there when it happened, or that the stress of his whole ordeal is why. We will never know why it happened, but he just maybe couldn't deal with it at that moment. Now, he needs to call you and say, I am sorry.

Yes, he called me maybe an hour after. I was still trying to recover from his words. I didn't answer any of his 12 missed calls. Right before I hung up I told him "stop it I'm going through a lot, this is the last thing I want to hear please" he just kept going on. I think maybe he did realize he was being hurtful. But I need to write to him and let him know what ive gone and going through before I can answer a call. Right now I'm too scared to hear anything hurtful again. I love this man. I've been by his side on two other occasions he did time too. If I wanted to leave him I woulda left the first time. Why doesn't he understand that??? :( I just really need to be held in his arms...

Thank you all soo much ladies for your words and support, it means a LOT!!

I am so sorry that is horrible..I am really hoping you don't believe what he said to you...regardless of why he said it..Nothing should make a person be that cruel..you are needing him right now, this is about you being alone and hurting..his words were abusive..no other way to put it..I am so sad that he did not gain his composure and even if he had to hang up and call back, think about how you must be feeling..even for a split second! Your body and mind have been through hell and I wish there were a way to make you understand that was not fair..I agree, send him a letter pour your heart out! Let him understand what this does to a woman! That was a slap in the face..I can see why you had a hard time telling him...I am sorry, I know you Love him and you can Love him forever but good for you for sticking up for yourself.. You do not have to give up on him to take care of yourself...but you don't deserve that .. NOBODY does! If something bad happened to him your fist thought would be How is he? Is he okay? what can I do to help him? If he does not feel that when you have a crisis than you have to find it in yourself..that you are worthy of compassion and comfort too! I am a stranger and I could feel your pain!! I am sorry if I sound angry, I am..because I would Love to be closer and talk you through this, he should feel the same way!

You know Miskim, I wrote him a loooong letter today. Outside, at a park, I felt I just needed to be away and breathe. It was a beautiful day with a breeze. I spilled my heart out, and literally my tears all over the paper. I still don't know what he is thinking, if he is sorry or if he's hurting. ME, I just want to hold him. Tell him I'm sorry this happened and comfort him. But honestly, after what he said yesterday. My heart is crushed and I'm seriously asking myself. Is it worth it??? I love this man to death. It's not the first time he could or has been a lil "mean" verbally. I guess they believe words isnt abuse. To me it hurts 10xs more!!! I know he loves me. Just wish he would change his attitude towards things. If he is not compassionate and understanding with the loss of our child, I honestly don't think I'm going to stick around, as much as it hurts. I don't think I deserve to be blamed for the loss of our child. How could he even think that!!!! During our last miscarriage which was in April, we both cried, talked, even slept on the same hospital bed with him rubbing my cramps away =( I'm hoping it's the circumstances, stress, being incarcerated, etc. that made him that way... But if next time we speak, or I don't receive an apology. This will be the beginning of the end. I don't feel I deserve to be waiting, waiting, praying for him more than I do for myself, being there, sending books, $, paying expensive calls... If he is going to be this way... I'm feeling soo lost and super bummed right now. He has no idea what he's putting me through. Don't know why men think us women are "having a party" now that they're gone =(

I am glad you wrote that letter, and hope you send it. He needs to read it and think. If he were home he wouldn't be acting like that from the way it sounds. Being in prison don't give them an excuse to treat us bad. We didn't do anything to them. All we do is love them and support them in every way. I think my guy does finally get it how tough I have it. Guess your guy needs a lesson about that. I think sometimes we try to protect them from the stuff we go through out here, so we don't stress them, but reeeeeeally, we are stressed because they are gone, and we have alot to deal with, in every direction.

This is a tough call. It's only your decision what you do. The emotions are high right now. I know its hard to just wait for things to get better. He was totally unfair, and he should of called or wrote to you by now, so hopefully he will. But let him know this is not a thing you can accept. You went through hell, and still are, and even though he isn't physically there, he sure should be comforting you.