What is Families and Friends Of Addicts
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professi...
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From the addict's mouth
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Before I was 16 my art work was posted on the White House lawn. I was a functional alcoholic in that way. NOT in any other way. Before I was 17 I earned a scholarship to Parsons in Paris... a chance to study at the Louvre. Very exciting and when I graduated I got all packed (not forgetting my whiskey and a nice stash of drugs). I was still a minor and my grandparents who raised me decided in their infinite wisdom to refuse me the scholarship. THEY WOULD NOT SIGN.
If they had (I understand now) I would NOT have studied, i would have been wasted in another country... maybe in a French gutter... maybe a foreign prison. I had slipped through high-school on art awards that brought funds into the schools ONLY> i had shown up to class drunk or stoned more then once. I had passed out drunk, thrown up on a teacher and cussed out a janitor, with no memory of these events in the space of a month. it was not a graduation as much as a mercy killing. (These behaviours I had conveniently forgotten. The only thing in my mind was THEY TOOK MY SHOT AT LIFE! I coulda beena contenda) I showed them for their intervention. I fixed it by drinking more. Drugging more. I got told that if I continued I would be thrown out. I showed them again... moved in with my boyfriend and got wasted for 3 straight black-out years. The glamorous high-lights... I woke up in a dumpster and walked to the store with no pants on at 3 in the morning in 47 degree weather. I got into an argument with a cop merciful enough to let me slide. Things got worse and worse. point being this... YOU can not fix a drunk. My behaviour and my choices were my own. until i got sick and tired of being sick and tired I did not move my ass. I got sober when I could not do anything else but die. If you have reached that point of incomprehensible demoralization then my friend it is time for action... pick up a phone and get help. AA worked for me... if not try a church, temple, synagogue. if you are dealing with another drunk... let go and let god. You can not, i repeat can not control the actions of another. I wanted to post this because my Pappaw i think would like to know (God rest him) That I know he tried to help. I know he could not. The only one who could make the decision to stop and get help was me and until I reached that point hell and highwater meant nothing. If you are in a similar situation go to Alanon or AA depending on which end of the spectrum you're on. Just get help... we are all here for you. Love you guys.... Angel xxoo Posted on 11/06/09, 06:11 am |
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(((Angel))) I am happy for you that you have turned it all around.
It took me awhile (8 years) to realize that I could do nothing for my addict husband that HE had to be the one to help himself. If love were enough, he would have been recovering a long time ago. We are divorcing now & I pray he gets the help he needs for himself. So far, he is living with his parents getting absolutely no help. His mother is a huge enabler & he will take advantage of that for as long as he can. 
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Wingedwolf, my husband is in jail because of his addiction to crack cocaine. He is "constitutionally unable to be honest with himself or others." He is an Atheist and therefore has problems trusting in a Higher Power. You are very correct when you said "YOU can not fix a drunk .....you cannot control the actions of another."
My husband does not get it, and he may never understand step 1 "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, drugs, people, places, things - that our lives had become unmanageable." My husband told me that jail is the best place for him and the best thing that could have happen to stop himself from using. Thank you for sharing this with us. Love and Hugs ...........
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There are things worse then jail and when he finds them he will do that first step with no problem. It is said that a lot of us come into AA as atheists but none of us leave as one. You can not fix him so you must take care of you. Leave him to God. He may not believe in God but God believes in him.
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Thank you so much for opening up and sharing that. It means alot to me. My husband is a recovering addict and also a chronic pain patient so we are always hovering on the brink it seems.
He was an addict as a kid (started around16 or 17) after a few bouts in jail we was clean, thats when i met him and we married shortly after. We were together for 7 years with no problems at all and then he ended up sick and was suffering from nerve, muscle and tendon problems from work and ended up being prescribed oxy's and the addiction took over again. I was ready to take my kids and leave within the first 3 months after the first sign of trouble. He quit cold turky, detoxed at home. and hasn't gone back. "He" made the choice to do that all on his own. He knew he would lose his family otherwise and that was too much for him. He is still a pain patient and still struggling with his addiction but he continues to be strong and make smart choices and accept the help that is out there. People can change, you are right about that, but in the end it is only up to them. Thanks again for your inspiration. Hope you don't mind me telling my story to. **hugs**
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