Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

well i had a boyfriend who was an alcoholic.. i want to say that sometimes people dont realize alcoholism is just as hard to go through than 'harder' illegal drugs. well he was unique because he didnt drink heavily on a daily basis. maybe once a month he would binge, and drink for a couple days straight, and it was hell. those one or two drinks lower his inhibition where he could say 'oh well' and drink more and more.. decision making, logic and judgement is clouded while under the influence.. and my bf said once the alcohol hit his lips he was different..also the one or two drinks are still feeding his addiction.. 'one is too many and a thousand is never enough'.. so. abstinence is the ONLY way! good luck to you and your boyfriend, im glad hes happier to be around, you dont want to compromise that huh. have a great day!! *smile*

oh my gosh, I agree totally. Alcohol is a mind altering drug and it does cloud your thinking and lower your inhibitions. I saw a special on PBS where a guy was in prison for killing his girl friend. He says he can directly link back to the turning point in his life - he started drinking beer. He was an alcohol but convinced himself if he just had 2 beers that wasn't drinking. He said he actually did okay for about 2 years and then his life became very stressful and he started drinking more and more. One day he just found his temper got the better of him and he strangled his girlfriend. He said his advice to anyone is - "no mind altering substances."

My boyfriend tries to quit about 2 times a month. Then he says just one or two drinks, but it always turns back into full blown cases each week. I think it's a terrible idea to support the 1 or 2 drinks a day right now. I think after he has a few years of sobriety under his belt he MIGHT and that's a huge MIGHT be able to have a drink or two every so often, but not each and every day.

Do YOU drink? Certainly, if you expect him to become abstinent, you must be as well.

If it is your expectation for him to be abstinent, then make sure he knows that, agrees to it, and abides by it before you think of marriage. And give it time to see if it is good over time.

Hi abstinence:) With addiction, the addict cannot just have one or two drinks. That is my honest opinion. It is not the amount of drinks or drugs, it is about the "disease" and where it takes a person. This disease controls the person, not the other way around. This disease progresses.
Sorry about your situation. I would make sure that you take really good care of you, because only he can take proper care of himself. Sadly there is nothing we can do for them. I fully support my daughter when she is in recovery. When she is using, for me it is a "hands off" kind of thing. I always remember the "Three C's". We did not cause it, we cannot control it and we cannot cure it. For some reason that helped me a whole lot.
Blessings..
EllaBlue

my drug of choice was cocaine. Do you think I could just have 1 or 2 lines? lol Ummmmmm........NO! That is what addiction is. Addiction controls us, we do not control it. We live in recovery for the rest of our lives. Abstinence is the only way. Even with a clear mind recovery is difficult. Cloud that mind & BANG our addiction takes over. I hope your b/f can realize this without experiencing it. This is his burden. Make him aware of the facts & tell him the choice is his. The responsibility should be on his shoulders not yours. We addicts work hard at ducking accountability. Make him accountable now b4 it gets a tight hold on him. Good luck to you