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Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professi...
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My Own Abuse Issues
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I've mentioned it before ever so briefly but it has now rose to the surface so much I just need to get over this. I spend so much time providing support and encouragement and answers for those who struggle with addiction or those who love the addict; yet, unable to get past my own struggle, but thankfully no longer substance abuse. Mine is more emotional, psychological and social. I've been to doctors but it seem the agreement between them is that I have to relive the moment but this time being able to process what I am feeling while experiencing humiliation which I was not able to do at the age of six, by a strong and aggressive woman figure who would aptly represent my mother. This is very embarrassing for me to even post this but why can't this be my time for help and I certainly will not attempt to go outside and try this. I have read the words of many of you and although sometimes judgment is flawed yet strength of character is quite impressive. I need your advice, too. I need your courage, too. I need your respect, too; mostly I need your help. Please message me and I'll provide more specifics, thank you.
Posted on 11/04/09, 08:11 am |
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BrotherRoy,
I have often wondered how trying to help others as you do isn't a constant reminder of where you have been and going. They say helping others is kind of a therapy for us all and getting things out. But it also places you in the middle of where you have come from. I know people don't always agree with you or others sometimes and yet you believe what you believe and have very strong convictions of God being your door to help. But some feel it is their decision and power of the mind to get through all this. Yes, you do come across as a strong person who can made it through everything you have endured and that is something I think we forget when talking with you here and of course there are many others here who have come a long way to who are helpful and the voice of experience as I like to say. I commend you on being able to ask for help and courage and would think you will have it. You are a good strong person, and if there is anything I can do I will, because you were there for me when I needed it. God Bless 
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BrotherRoy, although you & i have had disagreements/ difference in opinions i do recognise your contribution to this group & as with everyone here, your contribution is of value.
We all have different experiences which is why not everyone will agree with the same thing but your experience may help one person where mine will not or vise versa. You have every right to ask for help when needed & the good thing about this group is we can say whatever we want because we do not know each other personally & will not be judged because when having dealt with addiction i think most of us have witnessed or been through enough not to be knocked off course by someone elses past. I hope we can help!
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Hmmm... not sure who is telling you to focus on the problem.
The most effective counseling teaches to focus on the solution... Fake it, till you make it. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, but eventually it becomes reality. We are here for you.
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My childhood was what got me off course and then made me the strong person that I eventually became after my own addictions, and then once again becoming the co dependent enabler of the addict. that in itself seems like an oxymoron, but hell I'll take it, and I will fight for it and never give up until I have it, like that one song says it's not about reaching the top of that mountain, it's about the climb. You are a very courageous person and have my respect.
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Thank you, Lennea. It's time to grow. Just need to figure out how.
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I'm also a recovered addict, codependent to other addicts in my life as well as an child abuse (physical, emotional and sexual) survivor! I agree with Mgs1...sometimes we gotta fake it till it becomes comfortable cause what we know is not good for us and what is good for us feels so wrong! Keep your head up and keep moving forward ...Recovery takes time and healing takes even longer!!
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Thank you, POsOldLady
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My childhood wasn't the greatest but how I deal with it is to realize everyone does and makes mistakes. They may not always say it out loud but it doesn't do me any good to hold resentments or dwell on the past. I only have the future and plan to make whats left of it the best of my ability. I am the one in control of what I do now.
I will also say going and remaining in counseling has made a change in me. Its a slow process not everyone wants to hear the solution from the counselor its when you make the decisions yourself that they stick.
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Thanks, Katrinka. Would be nice except I'm self-employed and my millions haven't been made, just yet! No med insurance and other options doesn't seem viable. Definitely don't want to put myself into one of those "you get what you pay for", situations and deal with substandard counselors. I have neither the time or patience for them. Gotta put this in God's hands who solved my substance abuse, why am I fretting about this? He can fix this, too. Sometimes I need to just remember this.
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BrotherRoy, It is you that controls how this takes affect on you.
You have a strong faith that got you through your addiction so your faith will carry you through this. You could take the advice i suggested then finally lay this to rest or detach yourself completely from your past & lean on your faith to move you forward to the future you so deserve without looking back. Whatever you decide you have my support!
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