Families & Friends Affected By Suicide Support Group

Hi Amy, I'm so sorry about your brother. I lost my little brother too, almost 3 years ago in April. We (my family) had dreams about him, still do. I don't know what they mean--reflections of our own torment or signs from another place--but to me they are relevant. My husband doesn't believe in contact from the afterlife, but I'm not so sure. I've seen/heard/felt too much in my life, even before him, to say it can't happen.

At first, none of us had "good" dreams about my brother. I would wake up crying, because in my dreams, he was there; young and whole, but he wouldn't/couldn't speak to me. He wouldn't let me touch him. To me, that is the worst thing in the world. It meant he felt alone, despite my love for him.

Lately, the dreams we've had have changed. I haven't dreamt of him in a while, but I think his signal to me is in lights and song; lights go out sometimes when I'm near them, and songs we shared when he was alive seem to stream to me on the radio, in my mind, in grocery stores...

I think when our loved ones pass on this way, it is different for them. They have to work out the troubled souls they were at that moment. I think when we first dreamed of Joe, it spoke of his isolation from us. But as time went on, I think he came to a sort of peace with his life, or maybe it was us with his?

I don't have an answer why your dreams are so disturbing. But I can relate. I know your brother is in a better place, and that he is at peace there. Maybe he reaches out to those who are sensitive to tell them of his story. I just can't say for sure.

But I know this--time doesn't heal all wounds. It softens the scars. In time, your dreams will change. And I get the feeling that helps, not just us who are left in the aftermath, but those who pass on hoping their loved ones will understand and still love them--

--when they see them again.

Hugs to you, from someone who has cried those bitter tears you do, and will always.

I totally relate to how you are feeling. I am torn in deciding the meaning behind the dreams. It is either that our minds are trying to make sense of the senseless death of our loved ones or they are trying to communicate with us from the great beyond. Either way, the dreams leave us so sad and no more at peace than before we had them.

I have been having dreams of my husband lately. I couldn't before. I had 2 nightmares previously, and in one of them it wasn't even his face that I could see. Now I see him clearly, but each dream I am losing him over and over.

It is weird, one of my dreams was of him and I hanging out, all of a sudden there was a terrible storm, and a tornado. I kept telling him that we had to get down to the shelter to be safe, and he had to chase after this young child who was in the storm to save it. I kept yelling at him to come to me, but then he was swept up by the storm and died.

Another dream I had was that he had died in a car accident, and that I was a widow who had to deal with so much, and I woke up crying. Then when I realized that my dream was no where as bad as my nightmare reality I really broke down. Each dream I lose him, and each dream I am no better off. But I do find some peace in seeing his face again.

I am so glad that I am actually dreaming of him, but I wish that the dreams would become more peaceful. I just want to know that he is okay, and that he is in peace, and safe in the afterlife. I hope your dreams get better and that soon you will dream comforting dreams.

Hi Amy - I am so very sorry about your brother. I had nightmares about my sister for awhile after she killed herself (8 years ago) -they were all about me trying in vain to save her - she was always out of reach or with earthquakes in between us. I think my dreams were all about my own despair and not my sister trying to communicate with me. I believe in the afterlife - I have had so much proof all my life - it doesn't help in the aftermath of a suicide - but eventually when the veil of grief eases a little those who have been lost can actually make contact. I know that my sister is alright now and that helps alot. I'm thinking of you.

I'm so glad I found all of you but sad we hd to meet this way! I've never experienced this kind of grief, mourning, or utter relentless hearbreak and I'm a 30 year old cancer survivor! My last dream of Johnny was vague. I just remember asking "are you sad? Are you alone?" and to both he answered "no!" I strongly believe my previous dreams are just a realization that, no matter what I did, I couldn't save him or stop him.

My first dreams of my daughter were always dreams where she would hide behind something so that I could not see her face. She had shot herself in the mouth with a 9 mm. It was as if she was embarrassed of how she looked. Then came the dream where I was behind her in front of a mirror and she would not look at herself. I moved her hands from her face and said "See, you are still as beautiful as you always were." After that dream, when she visited me in her dreams, she always looked straight at me. The weird thing about this all is that I had 2 readings with a medium, and the medium said she saw my daughter looking in a mirror and I was standing behind her. She didn't know the significance of this, but I knew it was my dream that my daughter was referring to. So I do believe they visit us in our dreams. If at first they are brief and seem to want to flee, it may be because they are embarrassed by what they have done and they need us to tell them it is okay, and we still love them. I hope this helps you somewhat.

What a powerful dream - and from what I know of what happens after death - it certainly sounds like these were visitations. What courage you have to have survived your daughter's passing. She obviously loves you very much to have communicated so strongly with you. It can take some time before they develop the skill to communicate so effectively as your daughter did. She must have had loving guidance. Love and Light, Thea