What is Families and Friends Affected By Suicide
Suicide affects not only the individual, but also the family and friends who provide support and love. This community is offered as a place for those affected by suicide to gather ...
Join Now
|
Last conversation before suicide
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Out of curiosity, I wonder if the rest of you can share your last conversation with your loved one before he/she passed. I'm just wondering how the flow of the conversation went.
I often think of the last conversation I had with my daughter. She called that night (a Tuesday) and told me that she was calling to wish me a Happy Mother's Day because she wouldn't be able to call on Mother's Day. I thought she wouldn't be able to call because she would be working a double shift that day. I had no idea that it would be because she would be dead. She didn't sound as exuberant as she usually was - more so, very calm. When I mentioned this to our grief counselor, I was told that she acted calm because she had already made the decision to leave and that she was okay with it. My daughter also asked me to tell my husband and my son that she loved them. She had never done that before. I still didn't get it. My daughter was living in Seattle at the time (far away from Ohio). We talked for half an hour. Actually I talked for most of that because it was like trying to pull teeth to get her to talk. Finally I said, "Well, I had better let you go 'cuz this is going to cost you an arm and a leg." Had I known what state of mind she was in, I would have talked to her all night! Posted on 09/11/09, 06:09 pm |
| 25 Replies | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I had no conversation with my son the night he died. i had a feeling I should call him but i didnt because he was not speaking to me. He was estranged from us for 9 months. Everytime i called he would either not get on the phone or hed scream at me. So I decided I didnt want to be upset by him that night, little did i know that was going to be his last night on earth.
How I wish i would have called. Susan 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Yeah, the regrets we have, huh? I wish that I would have sensed something wrong with my daughter. If I had and asked her if something was wrong, I wonder if she would have told me how depressed she was and that she was contemplating suicide. The sad fact is that she had made an attempt the week prior to her death. A friend of hers here in Ohio knew of this attempt, but promised my daughter that she wouldn't tell anyone. I think something as serious as a suicide attempt is reason enough to contact the family, don't you?
Do you think your son might have answered the phone had you called that night? It is so hard to tell these things, and it is equally as hard to trust your gut feelings sometimes. I'm sure your son now knows that you were thinking about him that night. {{HUGS))
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
My son probably wouldn't have talked to me and i dont believe he would have told me he was feeling suicidal. But it hurts to think i missed my chance to say "i love you" to him.
Theres no going back as you know but it really stinks. Susan Sorry for your loss as well.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Susan - Matt does know you love him, just as I know Cherie knows I love her (and we will always love them!!). She wanted to be cremated (her last request to us) as she didn't want a viewing - obviously. However, I can't keep the cremains here - too hard- but we have them stored at a local funeral home. Everytime I go past the funeral home, I tell her I love her and miss her. She will be buried with my husband or me - whichever of us dies first. She died alone and we are determined that she will not be buried alone.
I know our children are in Heaven and they are happy. What happy reunions we will have with them when the time comes - there is no anger, no tears and no separation from them there. And how fortunate we were to have had them in our lives if for only a moment. ((HUGS))
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I talked to my son, about 20 mins prior to his death.........he had just returned from the dentist, i asked him if I could make him food, as he stuck his head in the fridge, just like he always did, he said "no, my mouth is numb"....he was talking about some money he owed us, I reminded him to be careful spending ( college life, going out w/friends) he told me that I probably wouldn't see him, but he was gonna be around home again for a bachelor party that weekend, he'd be too busy.....I walked him out to the car after a wierd hug at the door, he bent down and brushed my face with his, instead of the " middle hug" that he taught us to give...he was tall 6 ft 4, and it was hard to hug him..reaching too far up, so he said "mom, you gotta hug me from the middle"
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
oops.anyway, I thought it was wierd, so I followed him out to his car, and said "son, is everything okay?" he said yea, he was just tired, so tired...we now know he drove around the corner,( you see he had taken his brothers gun from his room, while he was sleeping) and he killed himself in his car. The really odd thing is, as I walked back into the house I said outloud to God, "NO, take this thought away, nothing is wrong, he's just tired" I have never before spoken to God outloud like that......20 mins later I found out my beautiful boy was gone forever.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Mary Lou - ((HUGS)) So sorry for your loss. He seemed so calm - just like my daughter. He had made his decision and was okay with it. They try to give us the false sense of security that all is well in their world, and then it is over. We look back and think we should have done this or done that, and would it have made any difference? They say if someone is so intent on leaving this life by suicide, if they don't make it the first try, they will try again.
Both of our children were so calm that it is scary, isn't it? Your son had plans for the coming weekend - my daughter had plans to go out with a friend 2 evenings later. They both knew the last time we spoke with them that those plans would never take place. They also knew that this was going to be the last time we spoke with them. But we had no idea of what was to come.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Our son called us that morning but we lived out of state and it was not uncommon for him to call us often. He was upbeat, making plans to come see us the next weekend, we joked and laughed about some things and then I handed the phone to his dad. He was going to help his dad who is self-employed, as he usually would when he was needed. His dad then passed the phone over to our daughter who was going through a very tough time with depression after a nasty short lived marriage. They talked and laughed...typical. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I wish I could give you some insight but this is all I have. If our son did indeed shoot himself...it was an impulse brought on by his abrupt withdrawal from Zoloft. We also struggle with the notion that his wife admittedly shoved him during the course of their argument. We just don't know at what point....I am so sorry for your loss. God be with you. Love, Dale...Brandon's Mom
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
bits and pieces of that conversation surface from time to time and the only negative thing that came from his mouth is that he thought he had chosen the wrong profession.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
The last time I seen my daughters dad, he wouldn't even look at me, he found at I was inside a family members house while he was on th eporch and he wouldn't come in. We has had a hard break up and I had another child. One of his aunts ran after him with my daughter in tow so that he could see her (it had been a few months). Apparantly he cried and resolved to be in her life. That was about four or five months before he died. I wonder what he was thinking about, I wish I could of said I was sorry
|
|
|
|
||
| First | Previous | Page: 1 2 3 | Next | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
