Families & Friends Affected By Suicide Support Group

Vrose, my honest answer is that you spend a long time thinking you can't deal or cope with it. Your lose was so recent that you probably have a host of questions with no answers, feeling angry, upset, desperation, wondering what if...

In the grand scheme of things 5 months may as well be yesterday. You need to find away to address the emotions, it has been an incredible shock which you are obviously still suffering. Have you seen your doctor to get some counselling? Do you still talk to the person that passed, tried writing to them or keeping a diary of your emotions.

Please remember this is your time for healing, there is no right or wrong way of dealing with your emotions or coping. It sounds strange but you need to roll with it to some degree and not think that you have to cope with it. Sometimes you will, sometimes you wont.

Have you got any friends to provide support, or talked to some else who also knew this person?

I am sorry for your lose and I personally know how tragic it is. Keep talking on DS, if you want to just talk mail me. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Leigh,
thank you. I am in counseling right now. Writing to them is a very good idea I will have to try that. One of my best friends was also best friends and roommates with the person that passed away, and many of my close friends were also very good friends with her so we are all a support system for each other, but at times we don't really know what to say to each other either.

I am not sure there is an answer. Maybe I am alone on this one,but the person that I was never learned to deal with it. I am a different person now than I was when it happened. The person that I have become can deal with it because there is NO other option.And I think five months can seem like no time at all, or it can seem like forever and a day. Odd how that works, huh?

Time does not heal, it makes things easier but never heals in my opinion. I think we 'deal' with emotions as they happen and we respond but what is right for us, e.g screaming, crying, shouting, silence... Sometimes the slightest thing can trigger an emotion; a song on the radio, an expression.

I agree with Leigh in the UK. Five months is a very short time. Don't let other people pressure you into thinking you have to be "over this" in a specified length of time.

Time does not heal everything. You will always look back on the death of your friend and wonder was there something more you could have done. I think we all do that. What we do learn, in time, is how very little influence we really have over the people we love. It takes a long time to come to the point where we accept we will never be able to answer that big question -- "Why?". It is only after a long time that we are okay with never having the answers. In that respect I think time helps, but Leigh is right. No amount of time will ever make us "alright" with what happened or bring back what we lost.

My advice to you is to seek out a suicide survivors support group in your area--perhaps even at your college. As you continue to sort out your emotions over your friends death, it would be a great comfort to be with people who have experienced similar loss.

This week marks the second year I have had to survive without the love of my life. Two full years...and it seems like yesterday. I am not going to tell you it gets much better, because that would be a lie! It gets "manageable". Some days, I can put in a 12 hour work day, and still spend time with the grandkids. Other days, I can't get out of bed because of grief. My best advice is write here, write often, until other people's words make you feel a bit better. I haven't been here in a year, but felt the need today. I am sorry for your loss.