Families & Friends of Gays & Lesbians Support Group

Hi, I am new here too; found this group accidentally,actually. Do you have a PFLAG group near you? (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). I went to a few of their meetings years back and it was great! How long have you been dealing with the gay child issue? In addition to the group, I read some good books that helped me learn what I needed to know. The only title I can remember at the moment is "Gay Parents, Straight Children" which was written by one of the original founders of PFLAG. I believe the author's name was Bernstein. Anyway, sorry to be so vague but it has been nearly 20 years since my sibling decided that he was really a woman, and then my daughter announced that she was gay a few years later. I still have trouble with the sibling because of the personality changes and other issues, but I now accept the fact that she is convinced that she is who she is, so I really have no choice but to accept it. On the other hand, my daughter has been the same wonderful person she always was, and there was absolutely nothing in her life that "made" her gay; she was truly born with the "gay gene" it seems. I live in Maine where the gay marriage issue is hot right now, and I have actually started attending a different church because of the whole "gays are sinners" thing. Anyway, how are you doing? I think the more parents we meet and the more gay people we meet, the more we can testify that they are people like anyone else, and help dispel all those horrible stereotypes out there.

Thanks for your reply...I just feel like nobody in my "network" really understands. I grew up in a very religious home and I stopped going to church because of the same thing...Gays and lesbians are going to hell...the whole Sodom and Gomora (sp?) thing. My cousin is also gay and I saw what he went through with this type of religious upbringing that is so black and white. The family "loves the sinner but hates the sin"....I will write more a little later. Is your daughter an adult now? How did your family (parents? siblings?) respond?

Yes, I can appreciate people not understanding. My daughter is an adult, and the general response in the family when she first came out was disapproval or indifference - the idea that maybe she was just going through a "phase". I was a Catholic for many years, but am currently going to a Methodist church which is very supportive of all people. Speaking of Sodom & Gomorrah, have you ever actually read that story? It is interesting that Lot wants to protect his heavenly visitors from the wicked gay people, so he offers the crowd his daughters instead! People who use the Bible to condemn gays definitely pick and choose their passages out of context. I note that Jesus never actually discusses the issue, and Paul sees gay sex as part of pagan rituals and therefore to be avoided. As a Christian, I think it is sad the way some people use the Bible to back whatever view they want.

Hi my son came out 2 years ago and I'm still trying to deal with it. I have four children and he is the youngest.

Hi,

God's blessings to you as you work through this coming out process with your son. Here are some resources you might find helpful..

---Gay Christian Network

This is a world wide network of folks who are gay and Christian. There are also a couple of straight supporters on there as well. They support two disticnt theological views .. one is that God affirms same sex sexual relationships, the other is that God calls gay and lesbian folks to celibacy. Neither view is condemning. The theological discussion of this is found here.. http://www.gaychristian.net/greatd...

The page I am referencing below is the parents and friends part of their forum.

http://gaychristian.net/community/...

---Family Acceptance

Here parents tell their story of working through their son coming out to them.

http://www.familyacceptance.com/ho...

---Coming Out for Christians

This is my own website .. a work in progress. The aim is mutual respect not necessarily mutual agreement.

www.comingout4christians.net

---Through My Eyes DVD..

This is an excellent DVD that tells the story of about 26 young Chrisitans and their journey as they came to realize they were gay. Trailer and purchase information is on this site

http://www.throughmyeyesdvd.com/


---A Brochure by Out Proud of Philly

This brochure is very helpful as it goes through the different stages you may find yourself in as you journey in this..

http://www.outproud.org/brochure_c...

Blessings to you and your son,

Dave

P.S. I am off on vacation for the next week so I will check in after I get back

I have a son ( not biological but by love ) who is gay. My husband and I took him in when his own parents turned their back on him. He turns 18 this week and we are so proud of the man he has become. It can be hard at times when people say nasty mean things or treat him bad. There is no support here where we live and it is very rural. He knows that we are here for him and always will be. Thank you pastordave for the links, I will be checking them out!

I am new to this group as well so maybe we all can help each other. I don't feel that my daughter knows who or what she is..Hanging around other gay people does not make you gay, holding hands does not make you gay, coming home with a hickey does not make you gay. She skirts around the subject when it is brought up and she plays her friends against each other to see who will do the most for her. She denies sex and well, I just plain don't believe it. Am I in denial or missing something? I have tried to talk to her about it but she avoids it like it is the plague. She has not even had sex yet. She cringes at the thought of going to the OB/GYN!