What is Families Friends of Gays Lesbians
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I am 22 years old and a lesbian. I've been engaged for almost 1 year now. And my parents and family don't know. We just got rings two weeks ago and I want to wear mine so much, but I have to hide it every time we are around my parents because I really want to tell them before they find out by just looking at my ring.
The problem comes in because I know it is going to hurt them. And every time I play the scene in my head, telling them sounds more like a confession than a joyous celebration. Like, "I'm sorry I know this is going to rip you apart but I'm getting married and I want you to be happy for me." I feel guilty that I have to put members of my family in that position. They may have 'accepted' me, but asking them to support my wedding means they have to 'confirm' me...they can't sit on the fence anymore, saying, oh it's fine you are together, but marriage is between a man and woman. And who am I to force them to make that decision anyway? I want my wedding to be full of joy and laughter and love, not a grudging acceptance and people feeling like they are obligated to show up just because they are family. Posted on 10/05/09, 08:10 am |
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Um...help? 
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If they love you they will accept this eventually.
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GIRL! Get over yourself.
But then again, I guess you feel this way because you are not yet a parent. If you were, you would know that the one thing that every parent want and works for, is the "happiness" of their child. I have a gay son. He is 16 now. When he was 10 years old he first came of the closet and told us that he was gay. We laughed. When he turned 14 we had a dual birthday and coming out party for him. We finally learned and understood that this is where his happiness and identity lay. Liam knew that we always believed his happiness--and not ours--was formost important thing to us as parents. Its time for you to realize this too. Tell them.
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I am aware that my mother (because this is who really matters in this situation) wants me to be happy. The only problem is that she's got her own plan for what my happiness is.
I'm overjoyed that your son had such a loving support system when he came out. I was kicked out of the house on the day of my Senior Prom (which was also my 18th birthday) because I refused to go to the prom with a boy. I didn't even go with a girl, I went stag with a bunch of friends. She said it made me look like a 'slut'. Now, she falls all over herself asking about my fiance...but refuses to allow her to come with me to a family wedding...while my 19 year old my brother gets to take his girlfriend of two weeks as his date. I know that I need to tell them. I want to tell them desparately. But I don't know if I am ready to handle the upheaval that will happen when I do. Thanks everyone for you advice. I'm moving toward telling them. It's just a matter of working up the courage to. Hearts, Owl
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