What is Esophageal Cancer
Esophageal cancer is malignancy of the esophagus. There are various subtypes. Esophageal tumors usually lead to dysphagia (difficulty swallowing), pain and other symptoms, and is d...
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My husband was dx'd stage 3 EC in July 08. He had chemo/radiation and then esophagectomy in Nov 08. He is now home, without a tube and eating regular food. Every doctor says he's fine. His CT scan came back negative. YET, he is at home and sleeping all the time. Doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to do anything but watch tv and he ends up sleeping. I am at my wits end. When he goes to the doctor (Surgeon/Oncology/Pulmonology/Cardiology/Psych) he tells them he is fine, they say he looks good and everyone is happy he is doing so well. Yet, he just sits at home every day, all day doing nothing. I am confused. Am I kidding myself that he is fine and will get back to some normalacy or is he dying? I think he's declining. He used to be more active, he used to talk, he used to eat, but now for the past 3 days, he has eaten very little and slept constantly. I could ramble forever, but I'll wrap it up. I would like to hear from anyone who can share something, good or bad, I need to hear it. I deal with end of life issues with my job......I am educated, yet I think I'm putting my head in the sand cuz he is my husband. But I don't know, maybe I"m being too pesamistic. There I go, rambling again.
Please give me some experiences, good or bad that can help me understand. I don't even know what doctor to talk to? Posted on 09/21/09, 12:09 pm |
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I would like to start by saying I am very happy for him to have come out of this cancer free from what the doctors say. This cancer is the second deadlest only to Pancreatic in survival. I can hear the frustration in your words and I can't say I know how you feel as my husband (50) was dead 5 months after they diagnosed him and never made it to surgery. I would think maybe your husband is a little depressed. This operation is a very tough from what I was told and healing time is long. Not only body but mind. He may be afraid to get his hopes up or he just may be so totally drained. I tried to prepare my husband for the surgery telling him just how tough it would be and how he would be facing many obsticals when he came out I was trying to get his mind prepared for the difficult task of healing and an entire new lifestyle when he recovered, he remained so positive and upbeat thinking he would be able to handle it. I would give your husband more time and maybe he will start coming around as he gets more strength & heals. You need someone to be there for you and right now it might not be him. As long as he is doing well I would be so happy just to have him alive. Let him sleep. Believe me I would give anything to have my husband here even if he slept all day. Not having him is worse by far. I hope I did not sound unsympathetic to your issues I just wanted you to know how I would feel in this situation. You are very blessed he is alive, time will heal. I wish him the very best. 
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No, you don't sound unsympathetic. You sound very compassionate and correct. I am happy he's alive, even if he sleeps all the time. I know it's better than the alternative. When I think of men like your husband and how little time he had, I have to be humbled and reminded. I am very blessed that he is alive. Life is different now,but it is life.
Thank you for your prompt response, now I need to stop my dribbling. Thank you again and I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine life without my husband and I'll give him a big kiss when I get home from work. thanks.
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My husband came out of surgery (he was Stage 4) extremely depressed. He has been on anti-depressants for about 5 months now and the improvement is amazing. He actually has a personality again. Prior to the meds, he just sat, and stared. Usually at the wall in the bedroom. No lights. No noise. Nothing. It was quite odd actually. I told him he was a bedroom hermit that came out for food! I offer up my husband to talk with anyone who'd like to. Not only can he share info but I think it's good therapy for him!! Hang in there. As the spouse to this journey, I can honestly say it is the HARDEST thing I've ever had to do in my life!
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I remember many years ago (pre mid-80's), my Dad was on some heart medicine that made him similar to what you describe Suzie. It didn't take long to realize the medicine he was taking was what was causing it, so as soon as they made a switch or took him off it, those symptoms left.
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You sound very observant, and you have your husband's best interests at heart. Have you considered calling the doc's office and expressing your concerns about how he is doing? Perhaps he is depressed and would benefit by an antidepressant. I'm not saying medications are always the answer, but it is something to consider. In any case, you might want to let the doctors know and perhaps than can help you themselves, or refer you to someone who can.
Don't despair -- Barb
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