What is Endometriosis
Endometriosis is a common medical condition where the tissue lining the uterus (the endometrium, from endo, "inside", and metra, "womb") is found outside of the uterus, typically a...
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Socializing with endo/pain...
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My DH and I have been having some arguments about this topic latly.
He feels that I isolate myself and do not bother making friends and also hate it when he goes out with people. I rarely will go with him. My point is that with constant pain, I do not bother making new friends now because 1) rarely are people nice enough to understand on an ongoing basis - although they pretend to at first, after a while they get angry when you cancel plans etc. and think you are a jerk and 2) it is near impossible to MAKE friends when you are constantly in pain, so at home most of the time. I save all my strength to go to work (where I work with miserable 50 year olds, so no hope of making friends there). When I do manage to go to something with my DH, I always feel I will ruin it, because my stomach will act up if I eat or drink, or I will need to go home if there are not proper chairs to sit on etc etc. I know he is right and my life has become limited and lonely at times. On the other hand, I feel like I am powerless to change this and I get angrier every day that i cannot do the things I want. I play music and have not been able to go to a bar and do this for years. I simply cannot spend a night drinking, nor can I stay up until 2 am at a bar uncomfortable. This makes it so my one hobby is ruined by endo as well (I play at home and write music, but to an audience of my DH only). Just wanted you guys to weigh in. He is kind about it and understands the pain, but at the same time, I get the impression he thinks there is something I can do about the isolation, but I see no options.... Posted on 11/02/09, 12:11 pm |
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I know how it goes. To have an active social life takes energy and I don't always have that with the endo. Also some of the twists and turns of being in relationships tends to wear me down and I'm just not always sure how to handle situations well. Some people come by all this stuff naturally. It's easy to get depressed about it. One things I'd say is to keep working at it cause you know that it's important though and enriches your life and I will too. 
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Utah you are not alone. Every day is a struggle to get up and go to work. The worst is working with/for men! As soon as you say you don't feel good and it has to do with endo...they tune you out! So I get labeled "slacker" for calling in. I find myself working myself extra hard and taking on more projects to make up for my time "away". That just makes my pain worse cause i am stressed out. Vicious cycle.
As for the going out part, I am so sorry that you can't do the things that you used to enjoy. I couldn't imagine that. It is getting harder to do some things...I am truly blessed with some good friends that know dinner out is going to be 1 hour and i am outta there! Or "drinks" out means one drink and I leave before them! I go out and do things, I just don't press myself to do things as long as I would have before. I know it is hard to "host" parties too cause while you are techinically home, you feel obligated to push yourself to make everyone comfortbale. Maybe you could get people together for a picnic at a neutral location where you play music, everyone brings their own food, you get to sit, and you get to leave when you are ready? Or go out to teh movies with a group of people (remember to take some medicine before sitting still for 2 hours!). All in all, I am so sorry and you are not alone. When you go to work everyday, think there is onen other person out there getting up at 630am to work a dead end job and feeling like crap while doing it :) I am with you in spirit!
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thanks channon, your thoughts and support mean a lot...I will be thinking of you tomorrow morning! haha
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I'm not sure what to say other then....Healthy people SUCK! Lol. I'm kidding of course. But I do feel for you. My boyfriend invites me out all the time and I decline because I am embarassed when I have to leave places early, or burst into tears because the pain gets so bad. We have been dating for almost a year and I *still* haven't met his friends. I just. Can't yet. It's been a rough year and he is good to me and understands that. It is SUPER hard to make and/or keep friends. I agree with you guys. Lets all pick a place and move there! I love the internet support but sometimes it just isn't enough. And while I have pretty good support here, it just isn't the same as having people who really understand. I wish you the best of luck and just know that we are ALL here, and we will always be friends. Even if it is from a distance! xoxox. Keep your head up [I know, it makes me want to hit people when they tell me that too...But at least I got a smile out of ya ;)] Let me know if you need anything babe! xoxoxoxox
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I know how each of you feel! I was just expressing to my Mom the other day about how I widh I had just a couple of close friends like you girls that understood my position. I really do wish that we lived in the same town too! it would be great to have dinner parties with a group that understands!
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