Eating Disorders Support Group

Hi BandT Kittie,

The short story for me is that when I was 12, my doctor made a comment to be careful, because at that age it's easy to put on a lot of weight. He actually used the phrase "As a teenager, you can never be too thin". Mom started lecturing me too, about how other family members "blew up" during adolescence and how that could happen to me if I didn't watch it. (btw, I was not overweight. I was tall and healthy with good eating habits, and I did not need to be put on a diet.) But I panicked, went on a diet, took it too far and became anorexic.

I was able to "beat it" in that I didn't die, but I've had ED symptoms on and off ever since. I am in treatment right now and I'm making some progress, but it's hard. Anorexia is an addiction, and it's really hard to beat, but all we can do is try and keep fighting.

Hugs,
Ali

My ED was related to stress, I was doing exams.. and failing, auditioning for dance colleges, my grandma died. Then I got in too deep, anorexia controlled me, for nearly 3 years. I keep getting a bit better but everytime something stressful happened I relapsed and got worse.
One day I just thought, I want to dance, I cant dance if I have this, I hate living like this, I hated being skinny as much as being 'normal weight' so I might as well be normal weight, from that day I havnt looked back.

Well, I was a teenage girl, already hating my body and totally insecure, and then one of my ballet instructors made a few nasty comments about my weight and size. I immediately started on a diet, and cut my calories down to XXXX. A few weeks later, I still wasn't happy with my size, and so I cut it down to XXX, and so on and so forth until I was only eating XX-XXX, or just not eating at all. It took me a long time to even realize I had a problem. Because not eating is always a sign of good health. Not.

I have been ED free for 7 months, but right now I'm struggling like crazy.

I am still trying to figure it out. It started about 6 months ago and I am 35 years old. I'm sure there were smaller signs much earlier but I have no idea why I am doing what I am doing. I don't know how to get a hold of my ED.

it started back in april for me. i was quitting cutting, and suddenly my coping mechanism was gone. then one of my friends committed suicide, and that really messed with me. i hated myself, and wanted to be punished. so i started purging and restricting. i lost a lot of weight the healthy way, but i felt like i got more results with ana. i have good stretches where i eat good, but then i fall again. currently im eating a normal amount, and im a bit freaked out, but im determined to stick with it because i want my future more than anything else, and i can't have it if i have ana.

i did the same thing you did halfwolven. i stopped cutting and now i cant stop not eating.

Hi there,

My anorexia began when I was around 15. It actually started a lot earlier because I would go through periods (a day or two) of just not wanting to eat much at all, but I was a reasonably sized child, so those periods didn't affect me much.

I don't remember exactly how it started. I just realized that I had control. That I could choose what to eat, and when, and how much. And all of these things would affect my body size - and shape, to some extent.

I think it began when I was 15. I remember experimenting with laxatives and passing out at school. And then I just slowly reduced.

It really went into full swing after my stepdad moved out. My family doesn't have much structure, and once he was gone, I really did have control. We rarely ate together, so I ate (or didn't eat) what I could tolerate whenever I would tolerate it.

It was hell! When I was about 17, I was so hungry one night that I ate a package of cracker sandwiches - those little packages with 6 sandwiches. And I was so disgusted. But I felt that I was dying, too. When I walked up a flight of stairs, I would be exhausted at the top.

So, after eating those crackers, I woke up my mother and told her I needed help. (She never really talked to me about it.) Within a couple of weeks, I was in a treatment facility, which was really a psych ward. It wasn't suited for my problem, and I was the only eating disorder patient there.

I was anti-everything there. I wouldn't talk much, I didn't take meds, but I did try to eat more. Once I gained enough weight, I was released. My mother says I was there for 6 weeks, but it didn't seem like it. I still think it must have been 2 weeks.

And, well, I fought anorexia for several years after. But never as dangerously. I still reach for healthier things first, and I still know about how many calories I get a day, but I'm MUCH MUCH MUCH more relaxed and SO THANKFUL for that.

Now I've just got to kill this bulimia...

Thanks for letting me write all of that!

I started at 13 years old because I was a solid girl with a chest and picked on in school. My mom also asked why I could not be more like my sister-smart. I am 39 years old and back in anorexia the past 2 years at a severe weight. I want to eat better but fear my own appetite. I also had periods of binging,purging with lax and diuretics and spit/chew. My weight has been down to 68 and up to 185 at 5'4". I am turning 40 in January and that bothers me too.

it started when i had just turned 12. i just remember thinking: im huge. everyone lese is so skinny, i wana be like them.
i was always quite chunky, why who family are really fat so i really had no chance. i wish they fed me healthily, but it was always pizza and fatty things and sweets and all that.
it was also after we moved house - my parents split up when i was 8 and they found new partners, but my mums bf abused us (mainly her) so we moved out when i was 11
but i dunno if that relates to anything

then i settled into ednos, after gtrying to recover on ym own. i didnt tell anyone and no one knew, so i was alone. yeah it failed. so i had ednos for a few years then my ana came back again a year ago, maybe a bit more. i cant remeber, i just got sick of being unhappy but not losing weight.

x

For me it started when I was 9. I started compulsively overeating to lesson the interest my father and his "friends" had in me, as sad as that is. When I turned 18 something switched and just stopped eating anything but plain popcorn.

Dropped weight like a stone, got married a few years later, and then bounced up and down with my having my kids and various stresses. Now I'm towards the low end, and struggling very hard to eat much each day. I'm up to 1200 calories per day and have agreed to do that for 3 months, but it is really really hard (I feel sick to my stomach every time I eat) and I'm still losing a little weight each week.

That plus cutting has been the story all along for me, and I'm now 42 and plain tired of it. I still have hope, I still think I can undo the pain of my childhood and overcome this, but I doubt I'll every be a 'normal' eater (whatever that is). At this point avoiding the hospital and staying a good mom for my kids is my biggest goals.