What is Eating Disorders
An eating disorder is a compulsion in which the main problem is a person eats in a way which disturbs their physical health. The eating may be too excessive (compulsive over-eating...
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All out of sorts today :(
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Yesterday I got back from my dance competition weekend, and my body just feels all messed up. I basically danced for 8 hours a day for 3 days and I got really hungry, so I ate a lot more than usual. I didn't binge, but I'm uncomfortable with all the food I ate. It felt like too much. Plus, I was trying to give up laxatives over the weekend and I got all bloated up from that, and had water retention from changing altitudes. All this added up to feeling fat, fat, fat!!! I ended up bingeing yesterday, starving myself today to make up for it, then bingeing again this afternoon. Blech. I know better than that. I'm starting to panic - I was on a routine, it felt great, and I want to get back on it and feel all right with myself again. Problem is it takes 2-3 days or so of healthy eating before I feel "fixed" and stop feeling fat and crappy. How to get through that yucky time, without resorting to ED behaviors to lessen the anxiety? Do I have trouble with needing instant gratification or what?
Not sure what the point of this is .... just venting, I guess. I felt like I needed to get it out, so thanks for reading. Hugs, Ali Posted on 11/04/09, 08:11 pm |
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i have times when i am bloated and I feel awful and fat.... you have to FIGHT that feeling, tell yourself its not real weight and in a few days it will be gone poof ! gone !! you can fight it, you can !
you danced like crazy you needed the calories... be mindful of that next time. you will be ok, you sound like you know whats going on.... good fighting babe.... 
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Thanks, Yazzz. :)
I know, it's not real weight, just water. But something about being patient and letting my body just adjust in its own sweet time feels so wrong. It's like this: if I weigh myself in the morning and I'm where I want to be, I feel like I'm okay. But if I haven't weighed myself for a few days and have been eating a lot during that time (or at least eating differently than my usual pattern), I don't know that I'm okay, and this causes anxiety. Weird, but that's what ED is all about for me - needing reassurance that I'm okay so I can feel safe. (I want to journal about that a bit more.) On the positive side, I had a lot of energy over the weekend due to the extra food and did a lot of good dancing. :) Still trying to fight this ...
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I think it is definatly your ed talking, and you have to fight fire with fire. Tell yourself your gorgous and your body needs the nourishment, without it you wouldn't be able to dance. I have been going throught the same thing lately so just message me if you need to vent. :)
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