Eating Disorders Support Group

I cannot say I ever really got over bulimia. I was bulimic for 2 years and am sure I had/have over-eating issues. I think as a child I started to eat when I was bored. I would then just keep eating large amounts of food. I think at some point I ended up realizing how much weight I was gaining/gained and started to purge as a way to rid myself of the excess food. I started to then binge and purge daily.

I think my lowest point was when I was in college - my roomate would go home every weekend. I would blast music and binge on food I would order out and throw up in my garbage bucket. I would never have to leave my At one point, I'd realize how much I ate the day before and would go as long as I could without eating. My darkest days would be when I would go to binge after that long period of time because of not eating. I tried to eat and drink liquids and I would be lying on the floor in such horrific pain because my stomach would not be used to having any fluids or food in it. My stomach cramped and ached to the point I'd be crying. Later that day, once getting food in me, I'd end up throwing it all up..... And so the cycle continued for 2 years.


I have been purge free for 3 years now, it took a lot of work. Unfortunately, I am on acid reflux medication the rest of my life because of my purging. I still struggle with overeating. I worry about ending up eating a box of pasta on my own....I haven't in a while. But I worry daily, if I will end up ruining my eating patterns. I am getting married in alittle under two years and want to look good. Not only look good but feel good. When I eat shit, I feel like shit. When I eat healthy foods, I feel good. Simple as that. Yet, I end up eating crap and regreting it later. I hate how I can ruin a good "track record".

I recently made a life change of becoming physically active six days a week. I've missed a day here and there but for the most part I've been right on. I am doing it not only to lose weight but to have a goal to become physically fit. I have to start somewhere....why not here and now? I try to stay positive and focused on being healthy. I hope I can continue on this life changing journey of weight loss and physical fitness.

The only reason I worry about being with this support group is sometimes it can trigger memories and thoughts of when I was binging and purging.....That's the only reason I hesitate joining this group. But, I feel deep down I still struggle with self-esteem, eating issues, self-control and self-image.
Any advice?
Posted on 11/04/09, 03:11 pm