Eating Disorders Support Group

Since the last time I came on here, I got past my problems and got my eating patterns to almost normal. At least, I got to eating two almost 'normal' sized meals a day and I have put on a lot of weight.

The problem I have now.. is that I have a boyfriend who I care about exponentially. He does not know about my past and I am absolutely petrified at the thought of telling him. He has made it quite clear that he does not like people who are in any way unhappy with themselves. I have tried to explain to him that, people with anorexia just have things that they need to work through but he just says he would not be able to cope dating someone anorexic.

I am so so scared about him finding out. The stress of it, and several other things we have done lately are making me want to back to my old ways.

For example, we go into town almost every day and there are shops with scales in them everywhere, I am just so, so tempted to get some again. That and, he has not been well lately, we went and got some laxatives and the thought of them at the other side of the room is killing me mentally. I want to take them so much.

I want to stop eating too, and start exercising again but he is around 24 hours a day. I suppose it is an excellent thing that he is here preventing me from slipping into my old ways but it is also making me want to do things more. He doesn't, along with everyone else I have met since moving to university, understand that joking comments about my weight really get to me. It seems to be getting worse and worse, I just want a week where I don't have to eat.

I know that telling him could solve the majority of this, as it is the stress from that which is forcing me to feel this way, but how can I tell someone who, although he loves me, is disgusted with having someone who is anorexic in his life?

I don't want to be looked at as someone who doesn't fit in again like it was at home so I would rather it didn't come back.
Posted on 11/04/09, 05:11 pm