Down Syndrome Support Group

I do understand completely. We all have those fears you speak of. We are all scared our kids will be picked on that they will never get married or will be alone. Its hard not to want to protect our kids and of course we only want the best for them what parent of any child wouldn't ?? . Here are some things that worked for me . I hope they help you too. My son is 12 years old now and has been in the school system for a while now. Before you send him to school you need to prepare really well. Educate yourself on the best way forward for your son. Have a look at Downs Ed stuff. Its excellent and tailored to Down Syndrome differences in learning. Secondly go talk to the school. Make sure they are aware of what Down Syndrome really is and not the commonly help stereo types that are usually way out of date. Once the school are up to speed have a chat with them about talking to the kids in the school about your son and about Down syndrome. Get help and information from the National or local Down syndrome association. Educating the kids will mean there will be less chance of nasty comments. I don't think your son will be on his own. If the kids are all the same age they tend not to notice difference so much. The teachers can help with integrating him too. You can do a lot to help your sons transition to school. . School will be a good learning and social experience for him. It will open up his world and improve his language and speech and learning generally.

Is your son the only child in your town with special needs ??? Can you see if there are any local organizations for special needs or down syndrome in your area ?? Your child would benefit from mixing with other kids with special needs , it does not have to be just down syndrome. There is plenty time to build up his social networks and by the time he is ready for dating he may have lots of friends. Kids with Downs do go on to marry and have kids and deffo have relationships. Your son is still so very young . You have lots of time to work on all these issues. Start with the school and put the other concerns on the back burner for now. Learn to be proactive and pushy :-) It really helps. I still do the "one day at at time thing " sometimes but I can honestly say that I am totally ok with my sons Down syndrome now. There will always be worries and concerns but then there are with my other 3 kids too thats just part of being a parent. Take control and make oportunites for your son and then do the hard part of letting him go a little to make the most of those chances. Thats always going to be a the hard part letting go but we do it just a little bit at a time and usually its ok. Don't worry so much about the future , try to enjoy the present . They grown up really fast and before you know it you will have a grumpy 12 year old who hates school and loud music like me :-) . I would not have it any other way he is JUST like his brother was at that age. Good luck xx

I know exactly how you feel, my son is 23 years old and sometimes I still ask the question "why me, why us". I was 24 years old when I had him and I thought the sun would not shine anymore, I was so devestated seeing the neighbors having three "regular" kids and mine was not "a regular one" We had two more children after him and yes they are "regular" ones, I call him the "extra crispy", because he is funny, stuporn, wants to be just like the regular ones, but is not. The one thing you have to be is your sons advocate, talk to the teachers, the parents, the kids in school so they have a understanding for what your son is like, because even administation in school usually don't know what a developmental disability like Down Syndrome is. Get informed about everything and teach others what you learned. I know it is not always easy because I think sometimes there is a feeling of being not adaquate because of having a child that is different, hope you know what I mean. Also let him be a little boy and let him do what little boys like to do, like getting dirty in the sandbox, and if he likes music like my son don't insist that he play the guitar or piano our way, just let him do his own thing and you know it can be beautiful when he plays the guitar and sings. It is a journey and you are young and have the energy, even sometimes you may feel down and this is normal, just enjoy him the way he is and he will love you for everything you do for him. Best of luck on this journey and if you need to talk you can contact me any time. Adios, enchanting123

I definitely know how you feel. I dont know when it will feel "right" again . I have become such a recluse that I am beginning to put a lot of strain on my marriage. Sometimes what i do is , i just take a step back and look at myself from some one elses point of view and see that in this short period called " life" , we endure so much pain . At this point all we can give our baby is all the support we can muster. Teach him how to overcome hurdles , yes he will be hurt , yes he may have issues having relationships , but we need to teach them how to overcome it. Inspite of us being normal kids , we were made fun of , had relationship issues etc, so it will happen but we did cope . Sometimes this helps me . I hope this helps you too. Take care of yourself and your baby :)

I do know your pain and your anger. The peom "Welcome to Holland" really sums it up. It is okay to feel anger. Anger is an emotion that tends to come from other emotions. Like fear. Fear of the unknown is a powerful thing. It is so overwhelming to hear "God only picks special parents..." and "Everything will be fine". We can't treat our children like nothing is wrong because there is. I do know that our kids have a gift for making friends though. My son has rarely ever been around anyone in a social setting that wasn't drawn to him in some way. Some younger children seem to be the hardest because they are afraid of the unknown also. They don't know why he doesn't talk like them or act like them. I can tell you that all of his classmates adore him!!! Everyone at school knows him and acknowdge him when we see them out side of school. They excited tell their parents "This is Colton, He is in my class at school". Some will say "He is so funny at school mom/dad". I can tell by the smile on their faces and the way they respond to him that it is because of his humor and not for his difference that they find him funny. I also understand about the fear of people making fun of him. That is something that I have always worried about. The very, very few times that it has happened I address it calmly and usually directly to the person/child who has done it. It really isn't as common as you might think. But, my older son has had the same issues and he is "normal". Our kids have an amazing gift. The gift to see the world without prejudice. That is a gift that the rest of us can only dream out. Even though God gave them extra challenges in life, just remember that he also gave them extra gifts. Does the fear and worry go away? No. It is something that will always be there. My advice is to protect your child but try not to seperate him from the world. He has many gifts to bless others with and you will be surprised at the way that he can touch the world and make it better. I hope that I gave you a little somfort. It is a journey.

i will support you about down sydrome i know it hardiest things to do for the kids they do have it there are so many of them they need love and caring for there need to have for themself