What is Depression Teen
Adolescent depression is a disorder occurring during the teenage years marked by persistent sadness, discouragement, loss of self-worth, and loss of interest in usual activities. ...
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save me from myself
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Its strange how i can talk all day long and hold conversations well. and even in therapy i can...but i feel like i'm not saying what i need to say and that i'm only saying what they want to hear. i have a problem with that i just say whatever to make other people happy whether its true or not. but i dont really wanna talk about my thoughts and feelings and stuff, tho i know its the right thing to do.
I've stopped seeking help..even tho i still despreatly need it. i just dont want to bother with it. its easier to pretend i dont have a problem then to face that problem head on. i skip my doctor's appointments and dont rescehdule and i've stopped taking my meds. everyone around me still thinks i go to my appointments every week and that i take my meds everyday, but i dont. its like the doctors are only willing to help me if i'm ASKING for help. as much as that makes sense, i wish it was that the doctors are willing to help as long as i NEED help. i wish i was still at the hospital where i had no choice but to get better, no choice but to take my meds and talk to the doctor. i just dont understand how they expect me, the person who hates herself and tried to kill herself, to be the person who has to save herself. although i would assume i'm the only one who can save me. its a catch 22..i have to save myself from hating myself, but i cant because i hate myself. what do you do when you yourself are your worst enemy? Posted on 10/25/09, 11:10 pm |
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Sounds like your ashamed of being depressed maybe blaming yourself. When i was like that I had to become disgusted with myself before I could change. But this is scary because when your at your lowest point your so close to ending it, you should really try to get help before you get there or it may become to late. Am I making sence? it's 4:44 am here so sorry if I'm not making any sence lol 
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i have the same problem! i only tell people what they want to hear! their is no one in the entire world who knows how i realy feel besides me! i want to scream out my feelings at the top of my lungs but i cant bring myself to do it..... i just resort to cutting.....i need help too.....
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unfortunatly i did hit that low of trying to end it already, thats why i was in the hospital and there they forced me to get better and stop cutting. which is what i feel i still need, force. because i dont feel like i can do it on my own.
Shadows: i completely understand i wanna scream everything thats wrong with me but i cant. sometimes i work up the guts to say something, and to me its a big big deal, but in actuality its not, its usually very suddle and small. so no one catches it, and it makes it harder for the next time to say something again.
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I know what you mean, when I was in therapy I didn't tell them what I was feeling, I told them what I wanted them to think I was feeling. I had this whole other persona I had invented just for therapy.
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That pretty bad. I hope things get better for you. I take meds too (I'm bipolar) and I know for a fact that if you stop taking meds entirely,you'll be worse off. Try keeping a journal or exercise.Anything to keep your mind off everything when you are feeling down. Hope this helps.
Best of luck,Becca
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it's amazing how doctors usually say that in order to stop or decrease one's depression talking is the best thing to do. I'm not in therapy, but do come from a family that is family oreinted, so my sisters and i tell each other everything. But every time i tell them my honest opinion about anything, they either begin freaking out themselves and wonder why i'm thinking like that, tell me i'm acting like a child and overacting, or simply tell me to brighten up. I think after a while, (not sure about you lot) i just fake the whole smiles and the "yes i'm fine, my day was great."
My best friend, ones called me a rainbow, and i think it may apply to you to. That the ROY are the colours that are widely seen by all, but its the GBIV colours that you need to be close and swint at in order to see, and still even that doesn't help. It's not your fault that your depressed or in your depressed state, but then i feel like i'm a hypocrit because i blame only myself and my lack of EVERYTHING in getting me to this miserable state. At least now though you know you're not alone, there are others out there.
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