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I don't understand it..
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i thought i was getting better, but recently everything has just turned around on me.. i feel so worthless, and unloved.. i stay home, i have to be practically dragged out of bed everyday to go anywhere..
last night seriously made me just lose it though (see my journal entry if you're curious) i've been having thoughts of suicide again... and i just feel so beaten and broken.. i don't know what to do anymore.. i don't feel like i have any purpose or reasoning to my life anymore.. i want to be put in inpatient.. but i don't know how to go about that. i want to just get away from it for awhile, and focus on making myself better.. can anyone help me find out how to go into inpatient? Posted on 07/07/12, 09:28 pm |
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Inpatient may help you for stabilization.
When we've hurt for a long time, and it seems nobody seems to care, we can come to the belief that...somehow...we deserve to feel the way we do...or we simply become to recognizable by our depression. At the core of depression is usually some form of repressed anger. Mental disorders walk upon two legs...fear and anger...and more often it hops on one...which is fear...because we can use anger as a means of trying to master our pain...and thus cover our fear with our anger. Suicide is the ultimate form of self anger. 
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I have to be honest with you. I was in inpatient and it was hell.
I was however in a adolecent psyc ward first and that was excellent. I do not want to discourage you getting help, that is for sure so dont take my expereince as an excuse to not go. What I did was I went into an emergency room and said that I feel like killingmyself and I need help. WARNING they will treat you as such and they will take everything from you including your clothes and any beverage you have because for some reason they are convinced its gasoline. LOL. They took me back to an empty room with a camera and had me sit there, then a social worker came to talk to me and offered me to stay in the kids psyc ward for a while. From there I asked for out patient and got it. If they try to kick you out of the hospital, tell them that honestly, if they send you home, nothing will change and you still feel the way you did. LIE to get the help you need if so nesesary. At theese places they monitor everything you do, and for a good reason but it just kinda got to me I guess. Let me know if you have more questons about the process. Ive been there and back sweetie. I just want you to know what you are getting yourself into although its all worth it i n the end. MAKE SURE the emergency room is in a hospital that has a adolecent psyc ward otherwise they wont bother to transport you, make you promise youll be fine, and send you on your way. DONT let them put you in an adult institution because they are horrible from what i have heard.
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* edit I asked for inpatient from the hospital sorry
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