Depression - Teen Support Group

I've seriously had a messed up life my whole life. My dad hit me all the time as a child and denies doing it. hes had 5 heart surgeries from smoking. And i've lost a huge amount of my family from smoking. I'm stuck living in a house with both my parents and 12 dogs. My mother has a hoardering problem and my dad has a animal hoarding problems. Also I live with a majorly snobby sister who is 23. My parents have put me threw so much verbal and emotional abuse I just can't take it anymore. They won't listen to anything I have to say. They put 100% blame on me everytime something happens. They say i'm the only thing wrong with our family. They went into my therapy telling my therapist my sister locks herself in her room because she's afraid i'm gonna kill her and I go home and pull knives on her. Also that I abuse the dogs everytime I go into the house. They beat the dogs day and night. The only time i've hurt them was to hit them with a chair because they always get into fights killing eachother &scream like there being murdered. I'm not safe home. I lock myself in my room because i'm scared there gonna kill me. My dad always talks about killing people. Dyfs is involved with my family but told them its okay for my parents to hit me. That they can't take me away unless my dad rips my arm off. I can't go for walks outside because i've had a series of abusive boyfriends. And one of them raped me and abused me for over a year and made his friend gang bang me. I don't tell people really because i'm scared of him and he threatens me. I have constant flashbacks of what he's done to me. And I have nightmares he's going to kill me. When I flipped out cutting myself one day and was talking about wanting to die my sister laughed and said she'd call the cops on me. And kept harrassing me outside the door. Atleast here I have friends. But there planning to move to pennsylvania and all ill have is the 3 of them and 12 dogs. There has to be some place that can help me. They make me crazy. I'm on zoloft and they blame that on my aggression that's appeared. It's not the medication. It's that I can't stand being near them. There also always denying me to hangout with friends. I need my friends because being alone makes everything so much worse. There negative people and always trash talk others and are highly racist. I need help. I don't want to live with them.
Posted on 07/04/12, 03:22 am