What is Depression Supporters
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. De...
Join Now
|
Please help me out sombody
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Hi,
I have entered this forum with the hope that somebody out there knows or have been in my situation and may be able to help. My wife seems to be suffering from depression and it is worries me deeply. It all started 8 months ago when we moved home to a new location. We had a beautiful house but because our daughter was having to travel to school very far away we decided to find somewhere local. The problem now is that we have moved and she is constantly regreting it and wants to go back. In addition she now feels constatntly unsafe in the new location and the previous occupyers have proved to not be very nice people. She is constantly getting up at night and keeps waking up whenever she hears any noise coming from outside. She feels that all her friends are talking about her about what she has done, that she should have stayed were she was as it would have been better for our daughter. She now spends her time trying to find another home and wants to move out as quickly as posible. I keep thinking that she is just being paranoid but i can she her mind losing it. She talks about nothing else day and night and it is deeply effecting our child. I am now suffering from anxity as i have to cope with pressures at work and at home all the time. my days are filled with stress from work and stress again at home. I have been keeping strong but I dont know how long I can keep it toghether. I was recently made redundant but gained employed with my previous boss. He lost the business but has started up again. I feel that I am getting false promises as he will tell me things but they never seem to progress and without any new sales I dont know how long I will be kept on. My wife never wants to leave home on her own and I have to escourt her everywhere. I need some advise as I dont know what else to do. I cant get the house back and without bringing in good money like I used to, I am stuck in a rutt. How can i help her calm down a bit and see that thing will change again over time. Posted on 10/01/09, 11:10 am |
| 5 Replies | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Sorry you are going through this great challenge. Obviously, it would be to your advantage to have your wife go to the doctor ASAP.
My husband had similar behaviors, and I too got sucked in by his ailment. Please take care of yourself, before you also become too weak to help her. some sources that have been invaluable to me are the books by schefield on depression and families. those will give you a lot of information. further, i just found this wonderful website, too late to save my marriage, but if I had seen the videos and read the articles, maybe, just maybe, i could have saved mymarraige. http://greatfamilycoaching.com/ lots of luck in these chanllenging times. hugs 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
At first I thought you were my husband....I am in a similar situation -am the wife and we moved to a new location that I absolutely hate (gave up a beautiful newer home for a much more expensive one closer to the city that has none of the amenities that my old home did)....I spend all of my time trying to convince my husband to move and am constantly upset over the condition of this "pit" we live in -lol (just trying to make you smile -but it is the truth).
Anyhow, I definitely think your wife is having a difficult time adjusting to the move and the new neighborhood. I would also recommend a counselor for her (especially with her safety concerns -I wonder why she is so scared -this would be something interesting to figure out). I am really happy that you reached out for help here -you cannot possibly take on all of the stress that you are. Have you talked to her about your stresses and how moving really isn't an option right now -and what can we do to make the situation in this new home better "for now"? You can't be the one doing all of the sacrificing here...please let me know how you are doing and how I can help
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Agreed with afanador and healingslowly - you can't handle all of this yourself. You are right to reach out for help. And it definitely sounds like your wife is in need of help. She should go to a doctor. While her discomfort and fears may have been based in reality, it sounds like she has become paranoid and a bit compulsive (but I'm not sure it's your place to tell her that). Help her find a doctor, take her there if you have to and see if you can even talk to the doctor about how to help her. I am sure this will help you as well.
Try and take time to help yourself since you are under so much stress. Everyone says exercise helps with stress - you may feel like you don't have time, don't have the energy, but maybe even a brief walk to relieve some of your own stress. Be nice to yourself to conserve energy. Good luck.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
lt does sound as though her depression is spiralling, does she take any meds? l live with bipolar and so can understand her obsessing over a new home this is part her of depression, moving could have triggered this and that's why she is feeling so misplaced.
l lived in a terrible home and was lucky to be homed elsewhere which is larger has a garden etc but still for the first 3-6mths l was on auto pilot and couldn't even unpack more than the bare essentials. lt didn't look, smell or feel like home l didn't want to go out but had as l live alone my illness was triggered badly but l was able to buy groceries and was l unmedicated. l would try to get her to see a Dr she may need medication or therapy or both l did, l progressively became worse and once on meds eventually l unpacked decorated and felt at home but it would never have happened without my Dr's support. Her obsession about moving is such a huge cry for help and she needs you to hear her my b/f told me to seek help. Good luck.....
|
|
|
|
||
| Add Your Reply |
